an
agony of tears; "do anything, but do not let them tap you!"--"Why, my
dear?" inquired the afflicted parent, "it will do me good, and I shall
live long in health to make you happy."--"No, father, no, you will not:
there never was anything _tapped_ in our house that lasted longer than a
week."

DCCXXII.--THE CAUSE.

LISETTE has lost her wanton wiles--
What secret care consumes her youth,
And circumscribes her smiles?
_A speck on a front tooth._

DCCXXIII.--WHAT'S GOING ON?

A VERY prosy gentleman, who was in the habit of waylaying Jerrold, met
his victim, and, planting himself in the way, said, "Well, Jerrold, what
is going on to-day?"

Jerrold said, darting past the inquirer, "I am!"

DCCXXIV.--SNORING.

A CERTAIN deacon being accustomed to snore while asleep in church, he
received the following polite note: "Deacon ---- is requested not to
commence snoring to-morrow until the sermon is begun, as some persons in
the neighborhood of his pew would like to hear the _text_."

DCCXXV.--TWO MAKE A PAIR.

SOON after the attack of Margaret Nicholson on the life of George III.,
the following bill was stuck up in the window of an obscure alehouse:
"Here is to be seen the _fork_ belonging to the _knife_ with which
Margaret Nicholson attempted to stab the King."

DCCXXVI.--ALMANAC-MAKERS.

TWO women scolding each other, one said, "Thou liest like a thief and a
witch." The other replies, "But thou liest like an _almanac-maker_; for
thou liest every day and all the year long."

DCCXXVII.--A BLACK JOKE.

A GENTLEMAN at Limehouse observed the laborers at work in a tier of
colliers, and wanting to learn the price of coals, hailed one of the men
with, "Well, Paddy, how are coals?"--"_Black as ever_," was the reply.

DCCXXVIII.--EPIGRAM.

"HE that will never look upon an ass,
Must lock his door and break his looking-glass."

DCCXXIX.--EXAGGERATION.

A MAN was boasting before a companion of his very strong sight. "I can
discern from here a mouse on the top of that very high tower."--"I don't
see it," answered, his comrade; "but I hear it _running_."

DCCXXX.--WINNING A LOSS.

A SWELL clerk from London, who was spending an evening in a country inn
full of company, and feeling secure in the possession of most money,
made the following offer. "I will drop money into a hat with any man in
the room.