ve the honour of subscribe myself,

Your much obedient servant,

LOUIS LE CHEMINANT.

P. S. Ha! ha! It is very droll! I tell my valet, we go at Leicestershire
for the hunting fox. Very well. So soon as I finish this letter, he come
and demand what I shall leave behind in orders for some presents, to
give what people will come at my lodgments for Christmas
_Boxes_.--_Blackwood's Magazine._

ABSURDITIES.

TO attempt to borrow money on the plea of extreme poverty.--To lose
money at play, and then fly into a passion about it.--To ask the
publisher of a new periodical how many copies he sells per week.--To ask
a wine merchant how old his wine is.--To make yourself generally
disagreeable, and wonder that nobody will visit you, unless they gain
some palpable advantage by it.--To get drunk, and complain the next
morning of a headache.--To spend your earnings on liquor, and wonder
that you are ragged.--To sit shivering in the cold because you won't
have a fire till November.--To suppose that reviewers generally read
more than the title-page of the works they praise or condemn.--To judge
of people's piety by their attendance at church.--To keep your clerks on
miserable salaries, and wonder at their robbing you.--Not to go to bed
when you are tired and sleepy, because "it is not bed time."--To make
your servants tell lies for you, and afterwards be angry because they
tell lies for themselves.--To tell your own secrets, and believe other
people will keep them.--To render a man a service voluntarily, and
expect him to be grateful for it.--To expect to make people honest by
hardening them in a jail, and afterwards sending them adrift without the
means of getting work.--To fancy a thing is cheap because a low price is
asked for it.--To say that a man is charitable because he subscribes to
an hospital.--To keep a dog or a cat on short allowance, and complain of
its being a thief.--To degrade human nature in the hope of improving
it.--To praise the beauty of a woman's hair before you know whether it
did not once belong to somebody else.--To expect that your tradespeople
will give you long credit if they generally see you in shabby
clothes.--To arrive at the age of fifty, and be surprised at any vice,
folly, or absurdity your fellow creatures may be guilty of.

GOOD REASON.

AN Irishman being asked why he wore his stockings wrong side out,
replied, "Because there's a hole on the ither side ov 'em."

PUTTIN