"

"Th-th-that's just it. If you engage me, you will need no stars at all."

INTEREST.

"PA, what is the interest of a kiss?" asked a sweet sixteen of her sire.
"Well, really, I don't know. Why do you ask?" "Because George borrowed a
kiss from me last night, and said he would pay it back with interest
after we were married."

FLATFOOTED COURTSHIP.

ONE long summer afternoon there came to Mr. Davidson's the most curious
specimen of an old bachelor the world ever heard of. He was old, gray,
wrinkled, and odd. He hated women, especially old maids, and wasn't
afraid to say so. He and aunt Patty had it hot and heavy, whenever
chance threw them together; yet still he came, and it was noticed that
aunt Patty took unusual pains with her dress whenever he was expected.
One day the contest waged unusually strong. Aunt Patty left him in
disgust and went out into the garden. "The bear!" she muttered to
herself, as she stooped to gather a blossom which attracted her
attention.

"What did you run away for?" said a gruff voice close to her side.

"To get rid of you."

"You didn't do it, did you?"

"No, you are worse than a burdock bur."

"You won't get rid of me neither."

"I won't! eh?"

"Only in one way."

"And what?"

"Marry me!"

"What! us two fools get married? What will people say?"

"That's nothing to us. Come, say yes or no, I'm in a hurry."

"Well, no, then."

"Very well, good bye. I shan't come again."

"But stop a bit--what a pucker to be in!"

"Yes or no?"

"I must consult"--

"All right--I thought you was of age. Good bye."

"Jabez Andrews, don't be a fool. Come back, come back, I say. Why, I
believe the critter has taken me for earnest. Jabez Andrews, I'll
consider."

"I don't want no considering. I'm gone. Becky Hastings is waiting for
me. I thought I'd give you the first chance. All right. Good bye."

"Jabez! Jabez! That stuck up Becky Hastings shan't have him, if I die
for it. Jabez--yes. Do you hear? Y-e-s!"

AMUSING INCIDENT IN COURT.

AT the Durham assizes, a very deaf old lady, who had brought an action
for damages against a neighbor, was being examined, when the Judge
suggested a compromise, and instructed counsel to ask her what she would
take to settle the matter. "What will you take?" asked a gentleman in a
bob-tailed wig, of the old lady. The old lady merely shook her head at
the counsel, informing the jury, in confidence, that "she was very hard