nted
place. Just before the signal for firing was given, the man of pleasure
rushed up to his antagonist, embraced him, and vehemently protested that
he could not lift his arm "_against his own flesh and blood_!" The young
gentleman, though he had never heard any imputation cast upon his
mother's character, was so much staggered, that (as the ingenious man of
pleasure had foreseen) no duel took place.

HUMPHREY HOWARTH, the surgeon, was called out, and made his appearance
in the field, stark naked, to the astonishment of the challenger, who
asked him what he meant. "I know," said H., "that if any part of the
clothing is carried into the body, by a gunshot wound, festering ensues;
and therefore I have met you thus." His antagonist declared, that
fighting with a man _in puris naturalibus_, would be quite ridiculous;
and accordingly they parted, without further discussion.

LORD ALVANLEY, on returning home, after his duel with young O'Connell,
gave a guinea to the hackney-coachman, who had driven him out, and
brought him back. The man, surprised at the largeness of the sum, said,
"My lord, I only took you to ----." Alvanley interrupted him, "My
friend, the guinea is _for bringing me back_, not for taking me out."

PROVOKING.

TO kneel before your goddess, and burst both pantaloon straps.

TEACHING A FOREIGNER TO SPEAK ENGLISH.

MY friend, the foreigner, called on me to bid me farewell, before he
quitted town, and on his departure, he said, "I am going at the
country." I ventured to correct his phraseology, by saying that we were
accustomed to say "going into the country." He thanked me for this
correction and said he had profited by my lesson, and added, "I will
knock _into your_ door, on my return."--_Memorials._

PHILOSOPHY.

_Experimental_ philosophy--asking a man to lend you money. _Moral_
philosophy--refusing to do it.

INGENIOUS ADVERTISEMENT.

SYDNEY SMITH, once upon a time, despatched a pretentious octavo, in the
_Edinburgh_, with a critique, one paragraph in length; that achievement
is matched by the disposal of a work in the _Courier and Enquirer_, as
follows, by ingeniously employing the opening sentence of the book
itself:--

"_The History of Rasselas, Prince of Abyssinia._ A Tale by SAMUEL
JOHNSON, LL. D. A new edition, with illustrations. 12mo., pp. 206.
New York: C. S. FRANCIS & CO.

"Ye who listen with credulity to the whispers of fancy, and pursue with
eagern