ause. "Don't you see," said
Sims, "what is written on the board?" to the utter astonishment of the
Frenchman, who had never before seen a dog that could read.

CAUSE OF BULLS.

SIR RICHARD STEELE, being asked why his countrymen were so addicted to
making bulls, said, he believed there must be something in the air of
Ireland, adding, "I dare say, _if an Englishman were born there_ he
would do the same."

MOT-MALIN.

A NOTED miser boasted that he had lost five shillings without uttering a
single complaint. "I am not at all surprised at that," said a wit,
"_extreme sorrow is mute_."

AS THE FOOL THINKS THE BELL CLINKS.

A WIDOW, desirous of marrying her servant John, consulted the curate on
the subject.

"I am not yet beyond the age of marriage."

"Marry then."

"But people will say that my intended is too young for me."

"Don't marry."

"He would assist me in managing the business."

"Marry then."

"But I am afraid he would soon despise me."

"Don't marry."

"But on the other hand a poor widow is despised who has no protector."

"Marry then."

"I am sadly afraid, however, that he would take up with the wenches."

"Then don't marry."

Uncertain from these contradictory responses, the dame consulted the
bells when ringing, and which seemed to repeat, "Marry your man John."
She took this oracular advice, married, and soon repented. She again
applied to the curate, who told her, "You have not observed well what
the bells said; listen again." She did so, when they distinctly
repeated, "Don't marry John."

A DOUBLE ENTENDRE.

A GENTLEMAN inspecting lodgings to be let, asked the pretty girl who
showed them, "And are you, my dear, to be let with the lodgings?" "No,"
answered she, "I am to be let--_alone_."

REASON ON BOTH SIDES.

CHARLES II. asked Bishop Stillingfleet how it happened that he preached
in general without book, but always read the sermons which he delivered
before the court. The bishop answered, that the awe of seeing before him
so great and wise a prince made him afraid to trust himself. "But will
your majesty," continued he, "permit me to ask you a question in my
turn? Why do you read your speeches to parliament?" "Why doctor,"
replied the king, "I'll tell you very candidly. I have asked them so
often for money, that I am ashamed to look them in the face."

SELF TAUGHT GENIUS.

IN a company of artists, the conversation turned on the