."

STUPIDITY PERSONIFIED.

M. BOURET, a French farmer-general, of immense fortune, _but stupid to a
proverb_, being one day present, when two noblemen were engaged, in a
party, at piquet, one of them happening to play a wrong card, exclaimed,
"Oh, what a Bouret I am!" Offended at this liberty, Bouret said
instantly, "Sir, you are an ass." "_The very thing I meant_," replied
the other.

THE DIFFICULTY SURMOUNTED.

EXECUTIONS not being very frequent in Sweden there are a great number of
towns in that country without an executioner. In one of these a criminal
was sentenced to be hanged which occasioned some little embarrassment,
as it obliged them to bring a hangman from a distance at a considerable
expense, besides the customary fee of two crowns. A young tradesman,
belonging to the city council, giving his sentiments, said, "I think,
gentlemen, we had best give the malefactor the two crowns, and let him
go and be hanged where he pleases."

HUMOROUS MISTAKES.

THE humors of the telegraph are very amusing. A year or so since, the
agent of the Delaware and Hudson Freighting Line, at Honesdale,
Pennsylvania, sent the following dispatch to the agent at New York:

"D. Horton--Dear Sir: Please send me a shipping-book for 1859."

The dispatch received, read as follows:

"D. Horton:--Please send me a shipping-box eighteen feet by nine."

The following might have been more disastrous in its results; the same
parties were concerned. Mr. Horton wrote to the proprietor of the line
that he had been subpoenaed on a trial to be held in the Supreme Court
of New York, and that as navigation was about to open, it would be
necessary to send a man to perform his office duties. The following
reply was entrusted to the tender care of the telegraph wire:

"See the Judge at once and get excused. I cannot send a man in your
place."

When received, it read as follows:

"See the Judge at once and get executed; I can send a man in your
place."

Mr. H. claims on the margin of the dispatch a stay of execution.

Not long since a gentleman telegraphed to a friend at Cleveland an
interesting family affair, as follows:

"Sarah and little one are doing well."

The telegraph reached its destination, when it read thus:

"Sarah and litter are doing well."

The recipient telegraphed back the following startling query:

"For Heaven's sake, how many?"

SLEEPING IN CHURCH.

A CLERGYMAN observed in his