ard of another still more parsimonious than himself,
waited on him to gain instruction. He found him reading over a small
lamp, and having explained the cause of his visit, "If that be all,"
said the other, "we may as well put out the lamp, we can converse full
as well in the dark." "I am satisfied," said the former, "that as an
economist I am much your inferior, and I shall not fail to profit by
this lesson."

A LEGISLATOR.

AN Irish member, adverting to the great number of _suicides_ that had
occurred, moved for leave to bring in a bill to make it a capital
offence!

DEAR WINE.

MR. ELWES, who united the most rigid parsimony with the most gentlemanly
sentiments, received a present of some very _fine wine_ from a wine
merchant, who knew that nothing could so win his heart as small gifts.
It had the effect to obtain from him the loan of several hundred pounds.
Mr. Elwes, who could never ask a gentleman for money, and who was a
perfect philosopher as to his losses, used jocularly to say, "It was
indeed very fine wine; for it cost him twenty pounds a bottle."

A GOOD HIT.

A GENTLEMAN being out a-shooting with Mr. Elwes, missed a dozen times
successively. At length, firing at a covey of partridges, he lodged two
pellets in Mr. Elwes's cheek, which gave him considerable pain; but on
the other apologizing, and expressing his sorrow for the unfortunate
accident, "My dear Sir," said the old man, "I give you joy of your
improvement; _I knew you would hit_ something _by and by_."

SPENDING TIME.

"WHAT makes you spend your time so freely, Jack?"

"Because it's the only thing I have to spend."

THE LESSON PROFITED BY.

AN attorney traveling with his clerk to the circuit, the latter asked
his master what was the chief point in a lawsuit. He answered, "If you
will pay for a couple of fowls to our supper, I'll tell you." This being
agreed to, the master said, "The chief point was _good witnesses_."
Arrived at the inn, the attorney ordered the fowls, and when the bill
was brought in, told the clerk to pay for them according to agreement.
"O Sir," said he, "where are your _good witnesses_?"

BLACK WORK WELL PAID.

A CLERGYMAN meeting a chimney sweeper, asked whence he came?

"I have been sweeping your reverence's chimneys."

"How many were there?"

"Twenty, Sir."

"Well, and how much do you get a chimney?"

"Only a shilling a piece, Sir."

"Why, I think a pound