with a complaint of some irregularities that had
occurred in that regiment, his majesty observed passionately, that the
Irish troops gave him more trouble than all his forces besides. "Sir,"
said the officer, "all your majesty's enemies make the same complaint."

COOLNESS IN ACTION.

IN the action off Camperdown, Admiral de Winter asked one of his
lieutenants for a quid of tobacco. In the act of presenting it, the
lieutenant was carried off by a cannon-ball. "I must be obliged to _you_
then," said the admiral, turning to another officer, "for you see our
friend is gone away with his tobacco box."

A CAUTION.

A TRAVELER coming into an inn in a very cold night, stood rather too
close before the kitchen fire. A rogue in the chimney corner told him,
"Sir, you'll burn your spurs." "My boots, you mean," said the gentleman.
"No, Sir," replied the other, "they are burnt already."

IMPROVEMENT.

A FRENCH marquis boasted of the inventive genius of his nation,
especially in matters of dress and fashion; "For instance," said he,
"the ruffle, that fine ornament of the hand, which has been followed by
all other nations." "True," answered the Englishman, "but we generally
improve on your inventions; for example, _in adding the shirt to the
ruffle_."

AN AMENDMENT.

AT the time of the jubilee, 1809, a meeting was held of the felons in
Newgate to pray his majesty for their pardon and liberation on the
auspicious occasion. One of them observed, that it would be better, for
them and their successors, to petition that all felonies be tried in the
_Court of Chancery_.

THE LEARNED DOG.

FRANK SIMS, the theatrical registrar, had a dog named Bob, and a
sagacious dog he was; but he was a pusillanimous dog, in a word, an
arrant coward, and above all things he dreaded the fire of a gun. His
master having taken him once to the enclosed part of Hyde Park next to
Kensington Gardens, when the guards were exercising, their first fire so
alarmed Bob that he scampered off, and never after could be prevailed on
to enter that ground. One day he followed his master cordially till he
arrived at its entrance, where a board is placed, with this inscription:
"Do shoot all dogs _who_ shall be found within this inclosure;" when
immediately he turned tail, and went off as fast as his legs could carry
him. A French gentleman, surprised at the animal's rapid retreat,
politely asked Mr. Sims what could be the c