consisted
only of twelve; but then he was an _acting apostle_."

THE BEST CUSTOMERS.

DR. RADCLIFF and Dr. Case being together in a jovial company over their
bottle, the former, filling his glass, said, "Come, brother Case, here's
to all the fools that are your patients." "I thank you, my wise brother
Radcliff," answered Case, "let me have all the fools, and you are
heartily welcome to all the rest of the practice."

A WEST INDIA LEGISLATOR.

IN the Jamaica House of Assembly, a motion being made for leave to bring
in a bill to prevent the frauds of wharfingers, Mr. Paul Phipps, member
for St. Andrew, rose and said, "Mr. Speaker, I second the motion; the
wharfingers are to a man a set of rogues; I know it well; _I was one
myself for ten years_."

THY OWN MOUTH SHALL CONDEMN THEE.

A PLAYER applied to the manager of a respectable country company for an
engagement for himself and his wife, stating that his lady was capable
of all the first line of business; but as to himself, he was _the worst
actor in the world_. They were engaged, and the lady answered the
character given of her. The husband having had the part of a mere
walking gentleman sent him for his first appearance, asked the manager,
indignantly, how he could put him into so paltry a part. "Sir," answered
the other, "here is your own letter, stating that you are the worst
actor in the world." "True," replied the other, "but then I had not seen
you."

AVOID ALL OFFENCE.

DURING the riots of 1780, when most persons, to save their houses, wrote
on their doors, _No popery_, Grimaldi, to avoid all mistakes, chalked up
on his, _No religion_.

A LIBERAL PRICE.

LOUIS XI. in his youth used to visit a peasant, whose garden produced
excellent fruit. When he ascended the throne, his friend presented him a
turnip of extraordinary size. The king smiled, and remembering his past
pleasures, ordered a thousand crowns to the peasant. The lord of the
village hearing of this liberality, thus argued with himself: "If this
fellow get a thousand crowns for his turnip, I have only to present a
capital horse to the munificent monarch, and my fortune is made."
Accordingly he carries to court a beautiful barb, and requests his
majesty's acceptance of it. Louis highly praised the steed, and the
donor's expectation was raised to the highest, when the king called out,
"Bring me my turnip!" and presenting it to the seigneur, added, "This