-five of 'em."

Sarrah took the news quite calmly; in fact, she appeared relieved.

"Oh, well, John," she said, "that do make it easier for me to tell ye.
Five is not so bad as me, watever. Seven I 'ave got!"

"Wat!" howled John.

"Seven," repeated Sarrah composedly. "That is my weddin' present to
ye, John."

_His Only Chance_

"Is there a man in all this audience," demanded the female lecturer on
woman's rights, "that has ever done anything to lighten the burden on
his wife's shoulders? What do you know of woman's work? Is there a
man here," she continued, folding her arms, and looking over the
assembly with superb scorn, "that has ever got up in the morning,
leaving his tired, worn-out wife to enjoy her slumbers, gone quietly
downstairs, made the fire, cooked his own breakfast, sewed the missing
buttons on the children's clothes, darned the family stockings,
scoured the pots and kettles, cleaned and filled the lamps, and done
all this, if necessary, day after day, uncomplainingly? If there be
such a man in this audience let him rise up! I should really like to
see him!"

And, in the rear of the hall, a mild-looking man in spectacles, in
obedience to the summons, timidly arose. He was the husband of the
eloquent speaker. It was the first time he had ever had a chance to
assert himself.

_He Saw Them, All Right_

Two officers were sent to arrest a Quaker; his wife met them at the
door and said, "Walk in, gentlemen; my husband will see thee."

After waiting some time they got impatient and called the woman,
saying, "You said we should see your husband presently."

"No, friend," she replied; "I said he would see thee--he did see thee,
did not like thy looks, and went out by the back door."

_An Easy Way to Stop It_

William Penn was once urging a man he knew to stop drinking to excess,
when the man suddenly asked:

"Can you tell me of an easy way to do it?"

"Yes," Penn replied readily, "it is just as easy as to open thy hand,
friend."

"Convince me of that," the man exclaimed, "and I will promise upon my
honor to do as you tell me."

"Well, my friend," Penn answered, "whenever thee finds a glass of
liquor in thy hand, open that hand before the glass touches thy lips,
and thee will never drink to excess again."

The man was so struck by the simplicity of the great Quaker's advice
that he followed it and reformed.

_What Brought Them_?

A rural school has a pretty girl as