rget it," said the bride.

"Your conduct," said the man, "was admirable."

"I remember," she said, "that I did behave very well at the time; but
I wish you could have seen the marks of my teeth on the bedpost that
night."

_Necessity and Invention_

A mother with her seven children started away on a journey. After
entering the car the largest child was laid out flat on the seat, and
the remaining six then sat upon him in a row.

When the conductor came around to collect the fares the mother counted
her money, handed it over, smiled, and suavely said: "Sir, the oldest
is under six."

_Taking No Chances_

An epileptic dropped in a fit on the streets of Boston not long ago,
and was taken to a hospital. Upon removing his coat there was found
pinned to his waistcoat a slip of paper on which was written:

"This is to inform the house-surgeon that this is just a case of plain
fit: not appendicitis. My appendix has already been removed twice."

_Too Much Curiosity_

A dangerous operation was being performed upon a woman. Old Doctor
A------, a quaint German, full of kindly wit and professional
enthusiasm, had several younger doctors with him. One of them was
administering the ether. He became so interested in the old doctor's
work that he withdrew the cone from the patient's nostrils and she
half-roused and rose to a sitting posture, looking with wild-eyed
amazement over the surroundings. It was a critical period, and Doctor
A------ did not want to be interrupted. "Lay down, dere, voman," he
commanded gruffly. "You haf more curiosity as a medical student."

_They Were Both Charged_

A little girl, brushing her hair, found that it "crackled," and asked
her mother why it did.

"Why, dear, you have electricity in your hair," explained the mother.

"Isn't that funny?" commented the little one. "I have electricity in
my hair, and Grandmother has gas in her stomach."

_Could Use the Other Kind, Too_

"Here," said the salesman, "is something we call the 'lovers' clock.'
You can set it so it will take it two hours to run one hour."

"I'll take that," said Miss Jarmer with a bright blush. "And now, if
you have one that can be set so as to run two hours in one hour's time
or less, I think I'd like one of that kind, too."

_A Regard for Appearance_

A milliner endeavored to sell to a colored woman one of the last
season's hats at a very moderate price. It was a big white
picture-