ends, the kirk is urgently in need of siller, and
as we have failed to get money honestly we will have to see what a
bazar can do for us."

There is a certain amount of excuse to be made for the young curate
who, remarking that some people came to church for no better reason
than to show off their best clothes, finished up as he glanced over
his audience, "I am thankful to see, dear friends, that none of you
has come here for that reason."

A negro student when conducting the prayers at one of the great
missionary colleges, said, "Give us all pure hearts, give us all
clean hearts, give us all sweet hearts," to which the entire
congregation made response, "Amen."

The giving-out of church notices has often proved a pitfall for the
unwary. "During Lent," said a rector lately, "several preachers will
preach on Wednesday evenings, but I need not give their names, as
they will be all found hanging up in the porch."

_They Come High--But_

A stranger in New York asked a newsboy to direct him to a certain
bank, promising him half a dollar for it. The boy took him about
three doors away and there was the bank. Paying the fee, the man
said, "That was half a dollar easily earned, son."

"Sure," said the boy, "but youse mustn't fergit that bank directors
is paid high in Noo Yawk."

_At Any Cost_

A darky preacher was lost in the happy selection of his text, which
he repeated in vigorous accents of pleading.

"Oh, bredern, at de las' day dere's gwine to be sheep and dere's
gwine to be goats. Who's gwine to be de sheep, an' who's gwine to be
de goats? Let's all try to be like de li'l white lambs, bredern.
Shall we be de goats, sisters? Naw, we's gwine to be de sheep.
Who's gwine to be de sheep, bredern, an' who's gwine to be de goats?
Tak' care ob youh souls, sisters; tak' care ob youh souls. Remember,
dere's gwine to be goats an' sheep. Who's gwine to be de sheep an'
who's gwine to be de goats?"

Just then a solitary Irishman who had been sitting in the back of the
church, listening attentively, rose and said:

"Oi'll be the goat. Go on; tell us the joke, Elder. Oi'll be the
goat!"

_Where Was Bill_?

Bill Jones is a country storekeeper down in Louisiana, and last
spring he went to New Orleans to purchase a stock of goods. The
goods were shipped immediately and reached home before he did. When
the boxes of goods were delivered at his store by the drayman his
wife happened to look at the la