rgest; she uttered a loud cry and
called for a hammer. A neighbor, hearing the screams, rushed to her
assistance and asked what was the matter. The wife, pale and faint,
pointed to an inscription on the box which read as follows;

"Bill inside."

_All That Glisters is Not Gold_

One day an Irishman was seated in the waiting-room of a station with
an odorous pipe in his mouth. One of the attendants called his
attention to the sign: "No smoking."

"Well," said Pat, "I'm not a-smokin'."

"But you have a pipe in your mouth."

"Shure, an' I've shoes on me feet an' I'm not walkin'."

_Her Affectionate Brothers_

It was Commencement Day at a well-known girls' seminary, and the
father of one of the young women came to attend the graduation
exercises. He was presented to the principal, who said, "I
congratulate you, sir, upon your extremely large and affectionate
family."

"Large and affectionate?" he stammered and looking very much
surprised.

"Yes, indeed," said the principal. "No less than twelve of your
daughter's brothers have called frequently during the winter to take
her driving and sleighing, while your eldest son escorted her to the
theatre at least twice a week. Unusually nice brothers they are."

_The Voice of the Lady_

"Life" recently printed this extremely clever sketch by Tom Masson:

It was a quiet Sunday rooming on a side street. A playful breeze had
lifted off the tarpaulin that covered the newsstand, and the
magazines were enjoying a quiet hour by themselves.

"Harper's" took occasion to edge away from "McClure's."

"Your cheapness makes me dizzy," it observed, with a superior sniff.

"My cheapness is as nothing to your dullness,", exclaimed
"McClure's," with some heat.

"Nonsense!" replied "Harper's." "Why, I once published an
interesting story."

A chorus of groans greeted this admission.

"The trouble with you fellows," observed "The Century," "is that you
do not understand the really serious side of life."

"How can we," observed "The Metropolitan," "for we have not, like
you, a humorous department? We----"

There was a commotion. While these observations were going on
"Munsey's" and "Everybody's" were having a dispute.

"I publish sillier stuff than you," said "Munsey's."

"I defy you to prove it," said "Everybody's."

"Let's form a ring and have them fight it out," suggested a rank
outsider--"The Clipper."

At this, however, there was a protest fro