f
a city the husband noted the attention which other women obtained from
passers-by, and remarked to his better half:

"Folks never look at you. I wish I had married some one better
looking."

The woman tartly replied: "It's your fault. Do you think a man will
stare at me when you're walking with me? You step behind and see
whether men don't look at me."

The husband hung back about a dozen yards, and for the length of the
street was surprised to see every man his wife passed stare hard at
her and even turn around and look after her.

"Sure, lassie!" he exclaimed as he rejoined her, "I was wrong and take
it back. I'll never say aught about your looks again."

The wife had made a face at every man she met.

_A Case of Adaptation_

Two dusky small boys were quarreling; one was pouring forth a volume
of vituperous epithets, while the other leaned against a fence and
calmly contemplated him. When the flow of language was exhausted he
said;

"Are you troo?"

"Yes."

"You ain't got nuffin' more to say?"

"No."

"Well, all dem tings what you called me you is."

_What Would Happen_

A woman agitator, holding forth on the platform and presenting the
greatness other sex, cried out: "Take away woman and what would
follow?"

And from the audience came a clear, male voice: "We would."

_Couldn't Fool Him That Far_

Years ago, when telephones were still a novelty, a farmer came to town
one day and called on a lawyer friend of his whom he supplied with
butter, and who had had a telephone recently put in his office.

"Need any butter this morning?" asked the farmer.

"Well, I don't know," answered the lawyer. "Wait a minute. I'll ask
my wife about it."

After speaking through the 'phone he went on; "No; my wife says no."

The farmer's face was a study for a moment. Then he broke out with:
"Look-a-here, Mr. Lawyer, I may be a 'Rube' and have my whiskers full
of hay and hayseed, but I'm not such a big fool as to believe that
your wife is in that box!"

_And They Wondered_!

At a banquet held in a room, the walls of which were adorned with many
beautiful paintings, a well-known college president was called upon to
respond to a toast. In the course of his remarks, wishing to pay a
compliment to the ladies present, and designating the paintings with
one of his characteristic gestures, he said: "What need is there of
these painted beauties when we have so many with us at this table?"