m one hitherto silent. A
soft soprano voice spoke.

"Gentlemen," it said, "would you fight in the presence of ladies?"

Whereupon the rest of the magazines took off their hats, and one by
one lapsed into respectful silence, as THE LADIES' HOME JOURNAL,
arranging its skirts anew with gentle precision, passed out on its
way to church.

_Cheer Up, Everybody_

The visiting missionary at an almshouse stopped for a moment to speak
to a very old lady and inquire, after her health and welfare. "Thank
you, sir," replied the old lady. "Yes, indeed, I've a great deal to
be thankful for. I've two teeth left and they're opposite each
other."

_A New Kind of Bait_

After weeks of waiting and longing for the sport, rods, reels, gaff,
creel--everything was in readiness for a week's trout-fishing.

The young wife, smiling joyously, hurried into the room, extending
toward her husband some sticky, speckled papers.

"For goodness' sake," he exclaimed, "what on earth are you doing with
those old fly-papers?"

"I saved them for you from last summer, dear," she answered. "You
know you said you always had to buy flies when you went fishing."

_He Could Supply Specimens_

"And what did my little darling do in school today?" a mother asked
of her young son--a "second-grader."

"We had Nature study, and it was my turn to bring a specimen," said
the boy.

"That was nice. What did you do?"

"I brought a cockroach in a bottle, and I told teacher we had lots
more, and if she wanted I would bring one every day."

_Was It His Ghost_?

A well-known publisher has the entrance to his private office guarded
by one of his editors, a small man, who, as the day wears on, sinks
down in a little heap in his high-backed chair under the weight of
the manuscripts he has to read. The publisher was exceedingly proud
of his friendship with a prominent Congressman, who usually called
when he was in New York.

One day the huge form of the Speaker of the House of Representatives
loomed up before the little editor, with the evident intent of
bearing down upon the private office.

"Back!" shouted the little editor, waving a slender arm with much
vigor. "Back! Go back to the offith and thend in your card."

The Congressman paused, inclined his head to view the obstacle that
opposed his progress, and smiled. Then he turned on his heel and did
as he was directed.

Of course the publisher bustled out personally to conduct