ut
destitute of financial resources. The father was obdurate. "No
money, no marriage."

"Give me l'ave, your riverence," said the blushing bride, "to go and
get the money."

It was given, and she sped forth on the delicate mission of raising a
marriage fee out of pure nothing. After a short interval she
returned with the sum of money, and the ceremony was completed to the
satisfaction of all. When the parting was taking place the
newly-made wife seemed a tittle uneasy.

"Anything on your mind, Catherine ?" said the father.

"Well, your riverence, I would like to know if this marriage could
not be spoiled now."

"Certainly not, Catherine. No man can put you asunder."

"Could you not do it yourself, father? Could you not spoil the
marriage?"

"No, no, Catherine. You are past me now. I have nothing more to do
with your marriage."

"That aises me mind," said Catherine, "and God bless your riverence.
There's the ticket for your hat. I picked it up in the lobby and
pawned it."

_An Addition to the Catechism_

An enterprising superintendent was engaged one Sunday in catechizing
the Sunday-school pupils, varying the usual method by beginning at
the end of the catechism.

After asking what were the prerequisites for the Holy Communion and
confirmation, and receiving satisfactory replies, he asked:

"And now, boys, tell me what must precede baptism?"

A lively urchin shouted out: "A baby, sir!"

_No Two Ways About It_

A colored preacher who had only a small share of this world's goods,
and whose salary was not forthcoming on several occasions, became
exasperated. At his morning service he spoke to his church members
thusly:

"Bredern and sistern, things is not as should be. You 'must not
'spects I can preach on u'th an' boa'd in Heben."

_The Maid Knew a Thing or Two_

"Madam," said the book-agent as the door was opened by a very comely
maid, "I am selling a new book on etiquette and deportment."

"Oh, you are," she responded. "Go down there on the grass and clean
the mud off your feet."

"Yes'm," and he went. "As I was saying, ma'am," he continued as he
again came to the door, "I am sell----"

"Take off your hat! Never address a strange lady at her door without
removing your hat."

"Yes'm." And off went the hat. "Now, then, as I was saying----"

"Take your hands out of your pockets. No gentleman ever carries his
hands there."

"Yes'm," and his hands clutched at his