ay."

One day, in response to his card, the young lady's mother, who was a
recent accession to the newly-rich ranks, and whose education was not
as sure as it might be, appeared and explained once more to the young
man that the daughter was not well.

"I am very sorry, indeed," said the young man as he rose to go, "that
your daughter is so delicate."

"Delicate?" sniffed the mother; "Florence dell'cate? Not at all.
Why, she is the most indelicate girl you ever met."

_A Live Topic_

A member of the faculty of the University of Chicago, according to
"Harper's Weekly," tells of the sad case of a young woman from Indiana
who was desirous of attaining social prominence in Chicago.

Soon after her arrival there she made the acquaintance of a student at
the university to whom she took a great fancy.

Evidently it was at this time she realized for the first time that her
early education had been neglected, for she said to a friend:

"I suppose that, as he is a college man, I'll have to be awful careful
what I say. Whatever will I talk about to him?"

The friend suggested history as a safe topic. To her friend's
astonishment she took the advice seriously, and shortly commenced in
earnest to "bone up" in English history.

When the young man called, the girl listened for some time with
ill-concealed impatience to his talk of football, outdoor meets,
dances, etc., but finally she decided to take the matter in her own
hands. She had not done all that reading for nothing; so, a pause in
the conversation affording the desired opportunity, she suddenly
exclaimed, with considerable vivacity:

"Wasn't it awful about Mary, Queen of Scots?"

"Why, what's the matter?" stammered the student, confused.

"My gracious!" almost yelled the girl from Indiana, "didn't you know?
Why, the poor thing had her head cut off!"

_The After-College Girl's Complaint_

A lady was calling on some friends one summer afternoon. The talk
buzzed along briskly, fans waved and the daughter of the house kept
twitching uncomfortably, frowning and making little smothered
exclamations of annoyance. Finally, with a sigh, she rose and left
the room.

"Your daughter," said the visitor, "seems to be suffering from the
heat."

"No," said the hostess. "She is just back home from college and she
is suffering from the family grammar."

_It All Seemed So Unnecessary_

A city man once had occasion, says "Lippincott's Magazine," to stop