ach.

"Why, what's the matter, Willie?" she kindly asked. "Haven't you had
enough to eat?"

"Oh, yes'm," said the boy. "I've had enough. I feel as though I
don't want all I've got."

_His Only Request_

A pretty young girl was walking through a Richmond hospital with
delicacies for the sick and wounded. She overheard a suffering young
Confederate officer say, "Oh, my Lord!"

Wishing to rebuke him slightly she came to his bedside and said:

"I think that I heard you call upon the name of the Lord. I am one of
His daughters. Is there anything that I can do for you?"

He looked upon the lovely face.

"Yes," he said, "please ask Him to make me His son-in-law."

A Good Majority

A well-known English surgeon was imparting some clinical instructions
to half a dozen students, according to "The Medical Age." Pausing at
the bedside of a doubtful case he said: "Now, gentlemen, do you think
this is or is not a case for operation?"

One by one each student made his diagnosis, and all of them answered
in the negative.

"Well, gentlemen, you are all wrong," said the wielder of the scalpel,
"and I shall operate to-morrow."

"No, you won't," said the patient, as he rose in his bed; "six to one
is a good majority; gimme my clothes."

_Ready to Accommodate Her_

Attorney-General Moody was once riding on the platform of a Boston
street car, standing next to the gate that protected passengers from
cars coming on the other track. A Boston lady came to the door of the
car, and, as it stopped, started toward the gate, which was hidden
from her by the men standing before it.

"Other side, please, lady," said the conductor.

He was ignored as only a born-and-bred Bostonian can ignore a man.
The lady took another step toward the gate.

"You must get off the other side," said the conductor.

"I wish to get off on this side," came the answer in tones that
congealed that official into momentary silence. Before he could
explain or expostulate Mr. Moody came to his assistance.

"Stand to one side, gentlemen," he remarked quietly. "The lady wishes
to climb over the gate."

_A New Name for Them_

One rainy afternoon Aunt Sue was explaining the meaning of various
words to her young nephew. "Now, an heirloom, my dear, means
something that has been handed down from father to son," she said.

"Well," replied the boy thoughtfully, "that's a queer name for my
pants."

_He Wanted to Know_

A bis