ed "Yes," but never
stirred from his position--in truth his eyes were tight shut.

By-and-by wee Helen tiptoed over to the sofa and leaning over Uncle
Harry softly inquired:

"Feepy?"

"No," growled Uncle Harry.

"Tired?" ventured Helen.

"No," said her uncle.

"Sick?" further inquired Helen, with real sympathy in her voice.

"No," still insisted Uncle Harry.

"Dus' feel bum, hey?"

And that won the uncle!

_Still He Wondered_

One of the physicians at a popular winter health-resort was looking
over his books one day, comparing his list of patients. "I had a
great many more patients last year than I have this," he remarked to
his wife. "I wonder where they have all gone to?"

"Well, never mind, dear," she replied. "You know all we can do is to
hope for the best."

_A Lesson In It_

"The trouble with you ladies of the W.C.T.U. is," said a man to a
member of that organization, "that instead of opposing the
christening of a vessel with champagne, you ought to encourage it and
draw from it a great temperance lesson."

"Why, how can we?" asked the "white ribboner."

"Well," was the reply, "after the first taste of wine the ship takes
to water and sticks to it ever after."

_It Was His Privilege_

As an express train was going through a station, says "Tit-Bits," one
of the passengers leaned too far out of the window, overbalanced and
fell out. He fortunately landed on a sand heap, so that he did
himself no great injury, but, with torn clothes and not a few
bruises, said to a porter who was standing by:

"What shall I do?"

"You're all right, mister," said the porter. "Your ticket allows you
to stop off."

_Still Hopeful_

"Well, Jimmy," said his employer, "I don't see how you are going to
get out to any ball-games this season; your grandmother died four
times last summer."

"Oh, yes, I can, sir," answered Jimmy. "Grandpapa has married again,
although it was very much against the wishes of the family."

_He Thought She Ought to Know It_

"No, I haven't anything for you today. You are the man I gave some
pie to a fortnight ago?"

"Yis, lidy, thank you; I come back because I thought p'r'aps you'd
like to know I'm able to get about again."

_A Possible Substitute_

"What have you in the shape of cucumbers this morning?" asked the
customer of the new grocery clerk.

"Nothing but bananas, ma'am," was the reply.

_One on the Preachers_

The preachers in