ted for his long sermons
and indolent habits. "How is it," said a man to his neighbour, "Parson
----, the laziest man living, writes these interminable sermons?" "Why,"
said the other, "he probably gets to writing and he is too lazy to
stop."

INCONSIDERATE CLEANLINESS.

"BRING in the oysters I told you to open," said the head of a household
growing impatient. "There they are," replied the Irish cook proudly. "It
took me a long time to clean them; but I've done it, and thrown all the
nasty insides into the strate."

YANKEE THRIFT.

QUOTH Patrick of the Yankee: "Bedad, if he was cast away on a dissolute
island, he'd get up the next mornin' an' go around sellin' maps to the
inhabitants."

SAFE MAN.

A POOR son of the Emerald Isle applied for employment to an avaricious
hunks, who told him he employed no Irishmen; "for," said he, "the last
one died on my hands, and I was forced to bury him at my own expense."

"Ah! your honour," said Pat, brightening up, "and is that all? Then
you'll give me the place, for sure I can get a certificate that I niver
died in the employ of any master I iver sarved."

A PAIR OF HUSBANDS.

A COUNTRY editor perpetrates the following upon the marriage of a Mr.
Husband to the lady of his choice:

"This case is the strongest we have known in our life; The husband's a
husband, and so is the wife."

ART CRITICISM.

AT a recent exhibition of paintings, a lady and her son were regarding
with much interest, a picture which the catalogue designated as "Luther
at the Diet of Worms." Having descanted at some length upon its merits,
the boy remarked, "Mother, I see Luther and the table, but where are the
worms?"

CUTTING A SWELL.

"A STURDY-LOOKING man in Cleveland, a short time since, while busily
engaged in cow-hiding a dandy, who had insulted his daughter, being
asked what he was doing, replied: "_Cutting a swell_;" and continued his
amusement without further interruption.

TALLEYRAND.

TO a lady who had lost her husband, Talleyrand once addressed a letter
of condolence, in two words: "Oh, madame!" In less than a year, the lady
had married again, and then his letter of congratulation was, "Ah,
madame!"

THAT'S NOTHING.

A MAN, hearing of another who was 100 years old, said contemptuously:
"Pshaw! what a fuss about nothing! Why, if my grandfather was alive he
would be one hundred and fifty years old."

LARGE P