ught and bled for my country--I helped whip
the British and Indians. I have slept on the field of battle, with no
other covering than the canopy of heaven. I have walked over frozen
ground, till every footstep was marked with blood."

Just about this time, one of the "sovereigns," who had become very much
affected by this tale of woe, walks up in front of the speaker, wiping
the tears from his eyes with the extremity of his coat-tail, and
interrupting him, says:

"Did you say that you had fought the British and the Injines?"

"Yes, sir, I did."

"Did you say you had followed the enemy of your country over frozen
ground, till every footstep was covered with blood?"

"Yes!" exultingly replied the speaker.

"Well, then," says the tearful "sovereign," as he gave a sigh of painful
emotion, "I'll be blamed if I don't think you've done enough for your
country, and I'll vote for the other man!"

THE HEIGHT OF IMPUDENCE.

TAKING shelter from a shower in an umbrella shop.

DECLINING AN OFFICE.

"BEN," said a politician to his companion, "did you know I had declined
the office of Alderman?"

"_You_ declined the office of Alderman? Was you elected?"

"O, no."

"What then? Nominated?"

"No, but I attended our party caucus last evening, and took an active
part; and when a nominating committee was appointed, and were making up
the list of candidates, I went up to them and begged they would not
nominate me for Alderman, as it would be impossible for me to attend to
the duties?"

"Show, Jake; what reply did they make?"

"Why, they said they hadn't thought of such a thing."

GOOD WITNESSES.

AN Attorney before a bench of magistrates, a short time ago, told the
bench, with great gravity, "That he had two witnesses in court, in
behalf of his client, and they would be sure to speak the truth; for he
had had no opportunity to communicate with them!"

TALLEYRAND'S WIT.

"AH! I feel the torments of hell," said a person, whose life had been
supposed to be somewhat of the loosest. "Already?" was the inquiry
suggested to M. Talleyrand. Certainly, it came natural to him. It is,
however, not original; the Cardinal de Retz's physician is said to have
made a similar exclamation on a like occasion.

A FIGHTING FOWL.

DURING Colonel Crockett's first winter in Washington, a caravan of wild
animals was brought to the city and exhibited. Large crowds attended the
exhibition; and, prompt