s you please," quietly responded Pat, "fool or blockhead--it's no
matter, so long as yer free to own it!"

GREAT CALF.

AT a cattle show, recently, a fellow who was making himself ridiculously
conspicuous, at last broke forth--"Call these ere prize cattle? Why,
they ain't nothin' to what our folks raised. My father raised the
biggest calf of any man round our parts."

"I don't doubt it," remarked a bystander, "and the noisiest."

GO IN AND WIN.

"MA, I am going to make some soft soap, for the Fair this fall!" said a
beautiful Miss of seventeen, to her mother, the other day.

"What put that notion into your head, Sally?"

"Why, ma, the premium is just what I have been wanting."

"Pray, what is it?"

"A 'Westchester Farmer,' I hope he will be a good looking one!"

NOT HERE.

A CORRESPONDENT from Northampton, Mass., is responsible for the
following:--"A subscriber to a moral-reform paper, called at our post
office, the other day, and enquired if _The Friend of Virtue_ had come.
"No," replied the postmaster, "there has been no such person here for a
long time."

GENTLEMEN AND THEIR DEBTS.

THE late Rev. Dr. Sutton, Vicar of Sheffield, once said to the late Mr.
Peach, a veterionary surgeon, "Mr. Peach, how is it you have not called
upon me for your account?"

"Oh," said Mr. Peach, "I never ask a gentleman for money."

"Indeed!" said the Vicar, "then how do you get on if he don't pay?"

"Why," replied Mr. Peach, "after a certain time I conclude that he is
not a gentleman, and then I ask him."

CHARLES JAMES FOX AND HIS FRIEND.

I SAW Lunardi make the first ascent in a balloon, which had been
witnessed in England. It was from the Artillery ground. Fox was there
with his brother, General F. The crowd was immense. Fox, happening to
put his hand down to his watch, found another hand upon it, which he
immediately seized. "My friend," said he to the owner of the strange
hand, "you have chosen an occupation which wilt be your ruin at last."
"O Mr. Fox," was the reply, "forgive me, and let me go! I have been
driven to this course by necessity alone; my wife and children are
starving at home." Fox, always tender-hearted, slipped a guinea into the
hand, and then released it. On the conclusion of the show, Fox was
proceeding to look what o'clock it was. "Good God!" cried he, "my watch
is gone!" "Yes," answered General F., "I know it is; I saw your friend
take it." "Saw him t