h honour; henceforth
death may end my grief, but cannot heal my damaged reputation." _Reliqua
tempora_, _i.e._, other opportunities of suicide.]

[Footnote 315: A mountain range in Illyria, over which the _via Egnatia_
passes (mod. _Elbassan_).]

LXIII (A III, 8)

TO ATTICUS (AT ROME)

THESSALONICA, 29 MAY

[Sidenote: B.C. 58, AET. 48]

I wrote to you at Brundisium, when on the point of starting, the reasons
for my not going to Epirus: namely, the proximity of Achaia, which was
full of enemies of the most unscrupulous character, and secondly, the
difficulty of leaving it when I wished to resume my journey. Added to
this, while I was at Dyrrachium two messages reached me: the first, that
my brother was coming from Ephesus to Athens by ship; the second, that
he was coming through Macedonia by land. Accordingly, I sent a message
to meet him at Athens, telling him to come thence to Thessalonica. I
myself continued my journey, and arrived at Thessalonica on the 23rd of
May, but have no certain intelligence about his journey except that he
had left Ephesus some time ago. At present I am feeling very nervous as
to what steps are being taken at Rome. Although you say in one of your
letters, dated the 15th of May, that you hear that he will be vigorously
prosecuted, in another you say that things are calming down. But then
the latter is dated a day before the former; which makes me all the more
anxious. So while my own personal sorrow is every day tearing my heart
and wearing out my strength, this additional anxiety indeed scarcely
leaves me any life at all. However, the voyage itself was very
difficult, and he perhaps, being uncertain where I was, has taken some
other course. For my freedman Phaetho saw nothing of him. Phaetho was
driven by the wind from Ilium[316] to Macedonia, and met me at Pella.
How formidable other circumstances are I am fully aware, and I don't
know what to say to you. I fear everything, nor is there any misery
which would not seem possible in my present unfortunate position.
Miserable as I still am in the midst of my heavy trials and sorrows, now
that this anxiety is added to them, I remain at Thessalonica in a state
of suspense without venturing upon any step whatever.

Now to answer you. I have not seen Caecilius Trypho. I comprehend from
your letter what you and Pompey have been saying. That any movement in
politics is impending I cannot see as clearly as you either see, or
perhaps on