dear Pomponius, since you imparted to me none of
your wisdom in time to save me, either because you had made up your mind
that I had judgment enough of my own, or that you owed me nothing beyond
being by my side; and since, betrayed, beguiled, and hurried into a
snare as I was, I neglected all my defences, abandoned and left Italy,
which was everywhere on the _qui vive_ to defend me, and surrendered
myself and mine into the hands of enemies while you looked on and said
nothing, though, even if you were not my superior in mental power, you
were at least in less of a fright: now, if you can, raise the fallen,
and in that way assist me! But if every avenue is barred, take care that
I know that also, and cease at length either to scold me or to offer
your kindly-meant consolations. If I had meant to impeach your good
faith, I should not have chosen your roof, of all others, to which to
trust myself: it is my own folly that I blame for having thought that
your love for me was exactly what I could have wished it to be:[342] for
if that had been so, you would have displayed the same good faith, but
greater circumspection; at least, you would have held me back when
plunging headlong into ruin, and would not have had to encounter the
labours which you are now enduring in saving the wrecks of my fortunes.
Wherefore do be careful to look into, examine thoroughly, and write
fully everything that occurs, and resolve (as I am sure you do) that I
shall be _some one_, since I cannot now be the man I was and the man I
might have been; and lastly, believe that in this letter it lis not you,
but myself that I have accused. If there are any people to whom you
think that letters ought to be delivered in my name, pray compose them
and see them delivered.

17 August.

[Footnote 332: Or, as Prof. Tyrrell suggests, "does not quote Curio to
that effect." I think, however, that Cicero does not use _laudo_ in this
sense except in connexion with _auctorem_, _auctores_, and even then
generally with a subsense, at least, of commendation. The speech was
composed to be delivered against the elder Curio and Clodius (see p.
155), but was never delivered. Its personal tone made it dangerous now.]

[Footnote 333: Cicero means that Atticus acted with the emotion
spontaneously arising from his affection, but not with the caution which
he would have shewn in doing a thing which he was under some obligation
to do.]

[Footnote 334: The ancient "colleges" or