madmen: being asked the reason for so doing; "From such," said
he, "I _had_ it, and to such I _give_ it again."

XCVII.--CHEESE AND DESSERT.

TWO city ladies meeting at a visit, one a grocer's wife, and the other a
cheesemonger's, when they had risen up and took their departure, the
cheesemonger's wife was going out of the room first, upon which the
grocer's lady, pulling her back by the tail of her gown, and stepping
before her, said, "No, madam, nothing comes after _cheese_."

XCVIII.--VERY POINTED.

SIR JOHN HAMILTON, who had severely suffered from the persecutions of
the law, used to say, that an attorney was like a hedgehog, it was
impossible to touch him anywhere without _pricking_ one's fingers.

XCIX.--"THE MIXTURE AS BEFORE."

A GENTLEMAN who had an Irish servant, having stopped at an inn for
several days, desired to have a bill, and found a large quantity of port
placed to his servant's account, and questioned him about it. "Please
your honor," cried Pat, "do read how many they charge me." The gentleman
began, "One bottle _port_, one _ditto_, one _ditto_, one
_ditto_,"--"Stop, stop, stop, master," exclaimed Paddy, "they are
cheating you. I know I had some bottles of their _port_, but I did not
taste a drop of their _ditto_."

C.--COMPUTATION.

AN Irish counsellor having lost his cause, which had been tried before
three judges, one of whom was esteemed a very able lawyer, and the other
two but indifferent, some of the other barristers were very merry on the
occasion. "Well, now," says he, "I have lost. But who could help it,
when there were an hundred judges on the bench?--_one_ and _two
ciphers_."

CI.--PRIMOGENITURE.

AN Irish clergyman having gone to visit the portraits of the Scottish
kings in Holyrood House, observed one of the monarchs of a very youthful
appearance, while _his son_ was depicted with a long beard, and wore the
traits of extreme old age. "Sancta Maria," exclaimed the good Hibernian,
"is it possible that this gentleman was an _old man_ when his father
_was born_!!"

CII.--CHECK TO THE KING.

ONE day James the Second, in the middle of his courtiers, made use of
this assertion: "I never knew a modest man make his way at court." To
this observation one of the gentlemen present boldly replied: "And,
please your majesty, _whose fault is that_?" The king was struck, and
remained silent.

CIII.--A FALL IN MITRES.