mad. "Oh! he is mad, is he!" said
the king, with great quickness, "then I wish he would _bite_ some other
of my generals."

XC.--LYING CONSISTENTLY.

TWO old ladies, who were known to be of the same age, had the same
desire to keep the real number concealed; one therefore used upon a
New-year's-day to go to the other, and say, "Madam, I am come to know
how _old_ we are to be this year."

XCI.--NOT RIGHT.

A PRISONER being called on to plead to an indictment for larceny, was
told by the clerk to hold up his right hand. The man immediately held up
his left hand. "Hold up your _right_ hand," said the clerk. "Please your
honor," said the culprit, still keeping up his left hand, "I am
_left-handed_."

XCII.--LIGHT-HEADED.

DR. BURNEY, who wrote the celebrated anagram on Lord Nelson, after his
victory of the Nile, "Honor est a Nilo" (Horatio Nelson), was shortly
after on a visit to his lordship, at his beautiful villa at Merton. From
his usual absence of mind, he neglected to put a nightcap into his
portmanteau, and consequently borrowed one from his lordship. Before
retiring to rest, he sat down to study, as was his common practice,
having first put on the cap, and was shortly after alarmed by finding it
in flames; he immediately collected the burnt remains, and returned
them with the following lines:--

"Take your nightcap again, my good lord, I desire,
I would not retain it a minute;
What belongs to a Nelson, wherever there's _fire_,
Is sure to be instantly _in it_."

XCIII.--"HE LIES LIKE TRUTH."

A PERSON who had resided for some time on the coast of Africa was asked
if he thought it possible to civilize the natives. "As a proof of the
possibility of it," said he, "I have known some negroes that thought as
little of a _lie_ or an _oath_ as any European."

XCIV.--HAND AND GLOVE.

A DYER, in a court of justice, being ordered to hold up his hand, that
was all black; "Take off your _glove_, friend," said the judge to him.
"Put on your _spectacles_, my lord," answered the dyer.

XCV.--VAST DOMAIN.

A GENTLEMAN having a servant with a very thick skull, used often to call
him the king of fools. "I wish," said the fellow one day, "you could
make your words good, I should then be the _greatest_ monarch in the
world."

XCVI.--MONEY RETURNED.

A LAWYER being sick, made his last will, and gave all his estate to
fools and