Bracknell?

Lane. Yes, sir. [Hands them on a salver.]

Algernon. [Inspects them, takes two, and sits down on the sofa.] Oh! . . .
by the way, Lane, I see from your book that on Thursday night, when
Lord Shoreman and Mr. Worthing were dining with me, eight bottles of
champagne are entered as having been consumed.

Lane. Yes, sir; eight bottles and a pint.

Algernon. Why is it that at a bachelor's establishment the servants
invariably drink the champagne? I ask merely for information.

Lane. I attribute it to the superior quality of the wine, sir. I have
often observed that in married households the champagne is rarely of a
first-rate brand.

Algernon. Good heavens! Is marriage so demoralising as that?

Lane. I believe it _is_ a very pleasant state, sir. I have had very
little experience of it myself up to the present. I have only been
married once. That was in consequence of a misunderstanding between
myself and a young person.

Algernon. [Languidly_._] I don't know that I am much interested in your
family life, Lane.

Lane. No, sir; it is not a very interesting subject. I never think of
it myself.

Algernon. Very natural, I am sure. That will do, Lane, thank you.

Lane. Thank you, sir. [Lane goes out.]

Algernon. Lane's views on marriage seem somewhat lax. Really, if the
lower orders don't set us a good example, what on earth is the use of
them? They seem, as a class, to have absolutely no sense of moral
responsibility.

[Enter Lane.]

Lane. Mr. Ernest Worthing.

[Enter Jack.]

[Lane goes out_._]

Algernon. How are you, my dear Ernest? What brings you up to town?

Jack. Oh, pleasure, pleasure! What else should bring one anywhere?
Eating as usual, I see, Algy!

Algernon. [Stiffly_._] I believe it is customary in good society to
take some slight refreshment at five o'clock. Where have you been since
last Thursday?

Jack. [Sitting down on the sofa.] In the country.

Algernon. What on earth do you do there?

Jack. [Pulling off his gloves_._] When one is in town one amuses
oneself. When one is in the country one amuses other people. It is
excessively boring.

Algernon. And who are the people you amuse?

Jack. [Airily_._] Oh, neighbours, neighbours.

Algernon. Got nice neighbours in your part of Shropshire?

Jack. Perfectly horrid! Never speak to one of them.

Algernon. How immensely you must amuse them! [Goes over and takes
sandwich.] By t