just like that, especially when there are other people
present. [Enter Lady Bracknell.]

Lady Bracknell. Mr. Worthing! Rise, sir, from this semi-recumbent
posture. It is most indecorous.

Gwendolen. Mamma! [He tries to rise; she restrains him.] I must beg
you to retire. This is no place for you. Besides, Mr. Worthing has not
quite finished yet.

Lady Bracknell. Finished what, may I ask?

Gwendolen. I am engaged to Mr. Worthing, mamma. [They rise together.]

Lady Bracknell. Pardon me, you are not engaged to any one. When you do
become engaged to some one, I, or your father, should his health permit
him, will inform you of the fact. An engagement should come on a young
girl as a surprise, pleasant or unpleasant, as the case may be. It is
hardly a matter that she could be allowed to arrange for herself . . .
And now I have a few questions to put to you, Mr. Worthing. While I am
making these inquiries, you, Gwendolen, will wait for me below in the
carriage.

Gwendolen. [Reproachfully.] Mamma!

Lady Bracknell. In the carriage, Gwendolen! [Gwendolen goes to the
door. She and Jack blow kisses to each other behind Lady Bracknell's
back. Lady Bracknell looks vaguely about as if she could not understand
what the noise was. Finally turns round.] Gwendolen, the carriage!

Gwendolen. Yes, mamma. [Goes out, looking back at Jack.]

Lady Bracknell. [Sitting down.] You can take a seat, Mr. Worthing.

[Looks in her pocket for note-book and pencil.]

Jack. Thank you, Lady Bracknell, I prefer standing.

Lady Bracknell. [Pencil and note-book in hand.] I feel bound to tell
you that you are not down on my list of eligible young men, although I
have the same list as the dear Duchess of Bolton has. We work together,
in fact. However, I am quite ready to enter your name, should your
answers be what a really affectionate mother requires. Do you smoke?

Jack. Well, yes, I must admit I smoke.

Lady Bracknell. I am glad to hear it. A man should always have an
occupation of some kind. There are far too many idle men in London as it
is. How old are you?

Jack. Twenty-nine.

Lady Bracknell. A very good age to be married at. I have always been of
opinion that a man who desires to get married should know either
everything or nothing. Which do you know?

Jack. [After some hesitation.] I know nothing, Lady Bracknell.

Lady Bracknell. I am pleased to hear it. I do not approve of anything