f hospitality!

Jack. Algernon! I have already told you to go. I don't want you here.
Why don't you go!

Algernon. I haven't quite finished my tea yet! and there is still one
muffin left. [Jack groans, and sinks into a chair. Algernon still
continues eating.]

ACT DROP

THIRD ACT

SCENE

Morning-room at the Manor House.

[Gwendolen and Cecily are at the window, looking out into the garden.]

Gwendolen. The fact that they did not follow us at once into the house,
as any one else would have done, seems to me to show that they have some
sense of shame left.

Cecily. They have been eating muffins. That looks like repentance.

Gwendolen. [After a pause.] They don't seem to notice us at all.
Couldn't you cough?

Cecily. But I haven't got a cough.

Gwendolen. They're looking at us. What effrontery!

Cecily. They're approaching. That's very forward of them.

Gwendolen. Let us preserve a dignified silence.

Cecily. Certainly. It's the only thing to do now. [Enter Jack followed
by Algernon. They whistle some dreadful popular air from a British
Opera.]

Gwendolen. This dignified silence seems to produce an unpleasant effect.

Cecily. A most distasteful one.

Gwendolen. But we will not be the first to speak.

Cecily. Certainly not.

Gwendolen. Mr. Worthing, I have something very particular to ask you.
Much depends on your reply.

Cecily. Gwendolen, your common sense is invaluable. Mr. Moncrieff,
kindly answer me the following question. Why did you pretend to be my
guardian's brother?

Algernon. In order that I might have an opportunity of meeting you.

Cecily. [To Gwendolen.] That certainly seems a satisfactory
explanation, does it not?

Gwendolen. Yes, dear, if you can believe him.

Cecily. I don't. But that does not affect the wonderful beauty of his
answer.

Gwendolen. True. In matters of grave importance, style, not sincerity
is the vital thing. Mr. Worthing, what explanation can you offer to me
for pretending to have a brother? Was it in order that you might have an
opportunity of coming up to town to see me as often as possible?

Jack. Can you doubt it, Miss Fairfax?

Gwendolen. I have the gravest doubts upon the subject. But I intend to
crush them. This is not the moment for German scepticism. [Moving to
Cecily.] Their explanations appear to be quite satisfactory, especially
Mr. Worthing's. That seems to me to have the stamp of trut