ly
desire information. Until yesterday I had no idea that there were any
families or persons whose origin was a Terminus. [Jack looks perfectly
furious, but restrains himself.]

Jack. [In a clear, cold voice.] Miss Cardew is the grand-daughter of
the late Mr. Thomas Cardew of 149 Belgrave Square, S.W.; Gervase Park,
Dorking, Surrey; and the Sporran, Fifeshire, N.B.

Lady Bracknell. That sounds not unsatisfactory. Three addresses always
inspire confidence, even in tradesmen. But what proof have I of their
authenticity?

Jack. I have carefully preserved the Court Guides of the period. They
are open to your inspection, Lady Bracknell.

Lady Bracknell. [Grimly.] I have known strange errors in that
publication.

Jack. Miss Cardew's family solicitors are Messrs. Markby, Markby, and
Markby.

Lady Bracknell. Markby, Markby, and Markby? A firm of the very highest
position in their profession. Indeed I am told that one of the Mr.
Markby's is occasionally to be seen at dinner parties. So far I am
satisfied.

Jack. [Very irritably.] How extremely kind of you, Lady Bracknell! I
have also in my possession, you will be pleased to hear, certificates of
Miss Cardew's birth, baptism, whooping cough, registration, vaccination,
confirmation, and the measles; both the German and the English variety.

Lady Bracknell. Ah! A life crowded with incident, I see; though perhaps
somewhat too exciting for a young girl. I am not myself in favour of
premature experiences. [Rises, looks at her watch.] Gwendolen! the time
approaches for our departure. We have not a moment to lose. As a matter
of form, Mr. Worthing, I had better ask you if Miss Cardew has any little
fortune?

Jack. Oh! about a hundred and thirty thousand pounds in the Funds. That
is all. Goodbye, Lady Bracknell. So pleased to have seen you.

Lady Bracknell. [Sitting down again.] A moment, Mr. Worthing. A
hundred and thirty thousand pounds! And in the Funds! Miss Cardew seems
to me a most attractive young lady, now that I look at her. Few girls of
the present day have any really solid qualities, any of the qualities
that last, and improve with time. We live, I regret to say, in an age of
surfaces. [To Cecily.] Come over here, dear. [Cecily goes across.]
Pretty child! your dress is sadly simple, and your hair seems almost as
Nature might have left it. But we can soon alter all that. A thoroughly
experienced French maid produces a really