I could deny it if I liked. I could
deny anything if I liked. But my name certainly is John. It has been
John for years.

Cecily. [To Gwendolen.] A gross deception has been practised on both of
us.

Gwendolen. My poor wounded Cecily!

Cecily. My sweet wronged Gwendolen!

Gwendolen. [Slowly and seriously.] You will call me sister, will you
not? [They embrace. Jack and Algernon groan and walk up and down.]

Cecily. [Rather brightly.] There is just one question I would like to
be allowed to ask my guardian.

Gwendolen. An admirable idea! Mr. Worthing, there is just one question
I would like to be permitted to put to you. Where is your brother
Ernest? We are both engaged to be married to your brother Ernest, so it
is a matter of some importance to us to know where your brother Ernest is
at present.

Jack. [Slowly and hesitatingly.] Gwendolen--Cecily--it is very painful
for me to be forced to speak the truth. It is the first time in my life
that I have ever been reduced to such a painful position, and I am really
quite inexperienced in doing anything of the kind. However, I will tell
you quite frankly that I have no brother Ernest. I have no brother at
all. I never had a brother in my life, and I certainly have not the
smallest intention of ever having one in the future.

Cecily. [Surprised.] No brother at all?

Jack. [Cheerily.] None!

Gwendolen. [Severely.] Had you never a brother of any kind?

Jack. [Pleasantly.] Never. Not even of an kind.

Gwendolen. I am afraid it is quite clear, Cecily, that neither of us is
engaged to be married to any one.

Cecily. It is not a very pleasant position for a young girl suddenly to
find herself in. Is it?

Gwendolen. Let us go into the house. They will hardly venture to come
after us there.

Cecily. No, men are so cowardly, aren't they?

[They retire into the house with scornful looks.]

Jack. This ghastly state of things is what you call Bunburying, I
suppose?

Algernon. Yes, and a perfectly wonderful Bunbury it is. The most
wonderful Bunbury I have ever had in my life.

Jack. Well, you've no right whatsoever to Bunbury here.

Algernon. That is absurd. One has a right to Bunbury anywhere one
chooses. Every serious Bunburyist knows that.

Jack. Serious Bunburyist! Good heavens!

Algernon. Well, one must be serious about something, if one wants to
have any amusement in life. I happen to be serious about Bunbu