that tampers with natural ignorance. Ignorance is like a delicate exotic
fruit; touch it and the bloom is gone. The whole theory of modern
education is radically unsound. Fortunately in England, at any rate,
education produces no effect whatsoever. If it did, it would prove a
serious danger to the upper classes, and probably lead to acts of
violence in Grosvenor Square. What is your income?

Jack. Between seven and eight thousand a year.

Lady Bracknell. [Makes a note in her book.] In land, or in investments?

Jack. In investments, chiefly.

Lady Bracknell. That is satisfactory. What between the duties expected
of one during one's lifetime, and the duties exacted from one after one's
death, land has ceased to be either a profit or a pleasure. It gives one
position, and prevents one from keeping it up. That's all that can be
said about land.

Jack. I have a country house with some land, of course, attached to it,
about fifteen hundred acres, I believe; but I don't depend on that for my
real income. In fact, as far as I can make out, the poachers are the
only people who make anything out of it.

Lady Bracknell. A country house! How many bedrooms? Well, that point
can be cleared up afterwards. You have a town house, I hope? A girl
with a simple, unspoiled nature, like Gwendolen, could hardly be expected
to reside in the country.

Jack. Well, I own a house in Belgrave Square, but it is let by the year
to Lady Bloxham. Of course, I can get it back whenever I like, at six
months' notice.

Lady Bracknell. Lady Bloxham? I don't know her.

Jack. Oh, she goes about very little. She is a lady considerably
advanced in years.

Lady Bracknell. Ah, nowadays that is no guarantee of respectability of
character. What number in Belgrave Square?

Jack. 149.

Lady Bracknell. [Shaking her head.] The unfashionable side. I thought
there was something. However, that could easily be altered.

Jack. Do you mean the fashion, or the side?

Lady Bracknell. [Sternly.] Both, if necessary, I presume. What are
your politics?

Jack. Well, I am afraid I really have none. I am a Liberal Unionist.

Lady Bracknell. Oh, they count as Tories. They dine with us. Or come
in the evening, at any rate. Now to minor matters. Are your parents
living?

Jack. I have lost both my parents.

Lady Bracknell. To lose one parent, Mr. Worthing, may be regarded as a
misfortune; to lose both looks like careles