all your life.

Algernon. Well, not till to-day, old boy, I admit. I did my best,
however, though I was out of practice.

[Shakes hands.]

Gwendolen. [To Jack.] My own! But what own are you? What is your
Christian name, now that you have become some one else?

Jack. Good heavens! . . . I had quite forgotten that point. Your
decision on the subject of my name is irrevocable, I suppose?

Gwendolen. I never change, except in my affections.

Cecily. What a noble nature you have, Gwendolen!

Jack. Then the question had better be cleared up at once. Aunt Augusta,
a moment. At the time when Miss Prism left me in the hand-bag, had I
been christened already?

Lady Bracknell. Every luxury that money could buy, including
christening, had been lavished on you by your fond and doting parents.

Jack. Then I was christened! That is settled. Now, what name was I
given? Let me know the worst.

Lady Bracknell. Being the eldest son you were naturally christened after
your father.

Jack. [Irritably.] Yes, but what was my father's Christian name?

Lady Bracknell. [Meditatively.] I cannot at the present moment recall
what the General's Christian name was. But I have no doubt he had one.
He was eccentric, I admit. But only in later years. And that was the
result of the Indian climate, and marriage, and indigestion, and other
things of that kind.

Jack. Algy! Can't you recollect what our father's Christian name was?

Algernon. My dear boy, we were never even on speaking terms. He died
before I was a year old.

Jack. His name would appear in the Army Lists of the period, I suppose,
Aunt Augusta?

Lady Bracknell. The General was essentially a man of peace, except in
his domestic life. But I have no doubt his name would appear in any
military directory.

Jack. The Army Lists of the last forty years are here. These delightful
records should have been my constant study. [Rushes to bookcase and
tears the books out.] M. Generals . . . Mallam, Maxbohm, Magley, what
ghastly names they have--Markby, Migsby, Mobbs, Moncrieff! Lieutenant
1840, Captain, Lieutenant-Colonel, Colonel, General 1869, Christian
names, Ernest John. [Puts book very quietly down and speaks quite
calmly.] I always told you, Gwendolen, my name was Ernest, didn't I?
Well, it is Ernest after all. I mean it naturally is Ernest.

Lady Bracknell. Yes, I remember now that the General was called Ernest,
I knew I had some parti