s, sir. [Goes back into the house.]

Algernon. What a fearful liar you are, Jack. I have not been called
back to town at all.

Jack. Yes, you have.

Algernon. I haven't heard any one call me.

Jack. Your duty as a gentleman calls you back.

Algernon. My duty as a gentleman has never interfered with my pleasures
in the smallest degree.

Jack. I can quite understand that.

Algernon. Well, Cecily is a darling.

Jack. You are not to talk of Miss Cardew like that. I don't like it.

Algernon. Well, I don't like your clothes. You look perfectly
ridiculous in them. Why on earth don't you go up and change? It is
perfectly childish to be in deep mourning for a man who is actually
staying for a whole week with you in your house as a guest. I call it
grotesque.

Jack. You are certainly not staying with me for a whole week as a guest
or anything else. You have got to leave . . . by the four-five train.

Algernon. I certainly won't leave you so long as you are in mourning. It
would be most unfriendly. If I were in mourning you would stay with me,
I suppose. I should think it very unkind if you didn't.

Jack. Well, will you go if I change my clothes?

Algernon. Yes, if you are not too long. I never saw anybody take so
long to dress, and with such little result.

Jack. Well, at any rate, that is better than being always over-dressed
as you are.

Algernon. If I am occasionally a little over-dressed, I make up for it
by being always immensely over-educated.

Jack. Your vanity is ridiculous, your conduct an outrage, and your
presence in my garden utterly absurd. However, you have got to catch the
four-five, and I hope you will have a pleasant journey back to town. This
Bunburying, as you call it, has not been a great success for you.

[Goes into the house.]

Algernon. I think it has been a great success. I'm in love with Cecily,
and that is everything.

[Enter Cecily at the back of the garden. She picks up the can and begins
to water the flowers.] But I must see her before I go, and make
arrangements for another Bunbury. Ah, there she is.

Cecily. Oh, I merely came back to water the roses. I thought you were
with Uncle Jack.

Algernon. He's gone to order the dog-cart for me.

Cecily. Oh, is he going to take you for a nice drive?

Algernon. He's going to send me away.

Cecily. Then have we got to part?

Algernon. I am afraid so. It's a very painful parting.

Cecil