h upon it.

Cecily. I am more than content with what Mr. Moncrieff said. His voice
alone inspires one with absolute credulity.

Gwendolen. Then you think we should forgive them?

Cecily. Yes. I mean no.

Gwendolen. True! I had forgotten. There are principles at stake that
one cannot surrender. Which of us should tell them? The task is not a
pleasant one.

Cecily. Could we not both speak at the same time?

Gwendolen. An excellent idea! I nearly always speak at the same time as
other people. Will you take the time from me?

Cecily. Certainly. [Gwendolen beats time with uplifted finger.]

Gwendolen and Cecily [Speaking together.] Your Christian names are still
an insuperable barrier. That is all!

Jack and Algernon [Speaking together.] Our Christian names! Is that
all? But we are going to be christened this afternoon.

Gwendolen. [To Jack.] For my sake you are prepared to do this terrible
thing?

Jack. I am.

Cecily. [To Algernon.] To please me you are ready to face this fearful
ordeal?

Algernon. I am!

Gwendolen. How absurd to talk of the equality of the sexes! Where
questions of self-sacrifice are concerned, men are infinitely beyond us.

Jack. We are. [Clasps hands with Algernon.]

Cecily. They have moments of physical courage of which we women know
absolutely nothing.

Gwendolen. [To Jack.] Darling!

Algernon. [To Cecily.] Darling! [They fall into each other's arms.]

[Enter Merriman. When he enters he coughs loudly, seeing the situation.]

Merriman. Ahem! Ahem! Lady Bracknell!

Jack. Good heavens!

[Enter Lady Bracknell. The couples separate in alarm. Exit Merriman.]

Lady Bracknell. Gwendolen! What does this mean?

Gwendolen. Merely that I am engaged to be married to Mr. Worthing,
mamma.

Lady Bracknell. Come here. Sit down. Sit down immediately. Hesitation
of any kind is a sign of mental decay in the young, of physical weakness
in the old. [Turns to Jack.] Apprised, sir, of my daughter's sudden
flight by her trusty maid, whose confidence I purchased by means of a
small coin, I followed her at once by a luggage train. Her unhappy
father is, I am glad to say, under the impression that she is attending a
more than usually lengthy lecture by the University Extension Scheme on
the Influence of a permanent income on Thought. I do not propose to
undeceive him. Indeed I have never undeceived him on any question. I
would consider it wr