while Fufius[249] is
pursued with shouts, jeers, and hisses. From such circumstances it is
not hope but indignation that is increased, for you see the citizens
allowed to express their sentiments, but debarred from carrying them out
with any vigour. And to omit details, the upshot is that there is now no
hope, I don't say of private persons, but even of the magistrates being
ever free again. Nevertheless, in spite of this policy of repression,
conversation, at least in society and at dinner tables, is freer than it
was. Indignation is beginning to get the better of fear, though that
does not prevent a universal feeling of despair. For this Campanian
law[250] contains a clause imposing an oath to be taken by candidates in
public meeting, that they will not suggest any tenure of public land
other than that provided in the Julian laws. All the others take the
oath without hesitation: Laterensis[251] is considered to have shewn
extraordinary virtue in retiring from his canvass for the tribuneship to
avoid the oath. But I don't care to write any more about politics. I am
dissatisfied with myself, and cannot write without the greatest pain. I
hold my own position with some dignity, considering the general
repression, but considering my achievements in the past, with less
courage than I should like. I am invited by Caesar in a very gentlemanly
manner to accept a legation, to act as _legatus_ to himself, and even an
"open votive legation" is offered me. But the latter does not give
sufficient security, since it depends too much on the scrupulousness of
Pulchellus[252] and removes me just when my brother is returning;[253]
the former offers better security and does not prevent my returning when
I please. I am retaining the latter, but do not think I shall use it.
However, nobody knows about it. I don't like running away; I am itching
to fight. There is great warmth of feeling for me. But I don't say
anything positive: you will please not to mention it. I am, in fact,
very anxious about the manumission of Statius[254] and some other
things, but I have become hardened by this time. I could wish, or rather
ardently desire, that you were here: then I should not want advice or
consolation. But anyhow, be ready to fly hither directly I call for you.

[Footnote 249: See Letter XIX, p. 35.]

[Footnote 250: _I.e._, Caesar's _agrarian law_, by which some of the
Campanian _ager publicus_ was to be divided.]

[Footnote 251: M. Iuventius