when
the man on the second floor rings for him?

Why is the news stand girl always so haughty?

Why does the night clerk always dress so much better than the day
clerks?

Why do I think I know so much about running a hotel?

IT ISN'T THE COAT THAT MAKES THE MAN

A seedy-looking chap came up to Roy Barnes in Toronto and said in an
ingratiating way:

"I don't know as you will remember me, Mr. Barnes, but I met you down at
Coney Island last summer."

"Yes, sure, I remember you easy," said Barnes, grasping his hand in both
his own. "I remember that overcoat you have on."

"I hardly think so," said the seedy party, trying to draw his hand away;
"I did not own this overcoat then."

"No," said Barnes, "I know you didn't; but I did."

* * * * *

Grace Hazard has a washlady. Washlady has a thirteen-year-old son. Son
became infected with the acting germ and ran away to go with Gertrude
Hoffman's Company. His mother was telling Miss Hazard about it.

"'Deed, Mis' Hazard, yo' know 'tain't right for dat po' li'le innocent
child to be pesterin' roun' dem theater houses dat er way. 'Twas jes'
dis ver' mo'nin' dat he's Sunday-school teacher wuz sayin' to me: 'Dat
boy has got too much--too much--intelligence to be in dat stage bus'ness
nohow.'"

* * * * *

Hanging in each room of the Great Southern Hotel at Gulfport, Miss., is
a small sign stating--

+-------------------------------+
|GUESTS CAN HAVE BATHS PREPARED |
|ON THEIR FLOOR BY APPLYING |
|TO THE MAID ON THEIR FLOOR. |
+-------------------------------+

* * * * *

A friend of mine in St. Louis is a Police Captain. One day he went into
a bank to get a check cashed. He was in citizen's clothes and the paying
teller did not know him anyway; so he said,

"You will have to be identified, sir. Do you know anybody here in the
bank?"

"I presume so," said the Captain cheerfully; "line 'em up and I'll look
'em over."

Seen from the car window: "Shuttz Hotel. Now open."

* * * * *

On Elmwood Avenue, Buffalo: "Organs and Sewing Machines tuned and
repaired."

* * * * *

At the St. James Hotel, Philadelphia:

Mrs. Cressy. "Waiter, have you any snails today?"

Waiter. "No, mam."

Mrs. C. "What's the matter? Can't you catch them over here?"

ONE-NIGHT-STA