* * * * *

As I was going to the theater in Indianapolis I passed two ladies who
were busily discussing a third.

"You know she can't hear very well," said one.

"No, I see she can't," said the other.

* * * * *

"Bobbie" Richardson was not feeling very well, and for the past four
nights had been taking a couple of pills each night. The fifth night
Mrs. Bobbie happened to glance over toward him just as he was about to
take his two pills.

"Bobbie," she said with a gasp, "what are you doing?"

"I am taking a couple of my pills," replied Bobbie.

"My Goodness," said Mrs. Bobbie, "those are not pills; that is a bottle
I gave Alice to keep her beads in."

* * * * *

Julius Tannen and his wife were--er--talking it over. That is, _she_
was; Julius was playing he was the audience. Finally Julius got an
opening and said,

"Say, what would you think if you and I ever thought the same about
something?"

Quick as a flash Mrs. Julius answered,

"I should know I was wrong."

[Illustration: The Band of Hope.]

LET US HOPE

"The Normal School Band uniforms will consist of a coat and cap at
first, with the probable addition of trousers at a later
date."--_Kalamazoo Gazette._

* * * * *

At the Seelback Hotel in Louisville, Ky., I asked the colored waiter if
they served a table d'hote meal in the morning. He hesitated for a
moment, then picked up the bill of fare, studied on it for a moment,
then said,

"Er--no, suh; we haven't got table doe meal, but we have got oat meal."

* * * * *

I saw a wedding announcement in a Kansas City paper the other day and I
didn't blame the girl a bit. Her name was Leafy Gose.

* * * * *

Al Fields' (Fields & Lewis) mother and father came from Berlin. Father
teaches stuttering people not to stutter. One day he was busily beating
time for a pupil to talk to, when the bell rang; he went to the door and
a boy handed in a bundle, saying,

"Frank Brothers."

A couple of days afterwards Mother said to him,

"Papa, haf you seen a pair of slippers come by der house for Mama?"

No, Papa had seen no slippers.

"It iss funny iss," said Mama. "Two days ago yet I buy me a pair of
slippers from Frank Brothers; unt they say they vill sent them by a boy
to the house."

"From who iss it?" as