shape of paint or varnish.

As I say, she gave a sigh of relief; but almost instantly this sigh of
relief was followed by a gasp of dismay. _If the paint was gone from the
tub, where was it?_

Again she discovered that, although her troubles were all behind her,
they were still with her. Frantically grasping soap, scrubbing brush and
towel she tried to erase the foul stain from her character. But after
five minutes' frantic labor she discovered that her trouble was too deep
seated for soap and water.

She tried toilet water; witch hazel; bay rum; listerine; any and
everything in reach; and the villain still pursued her. Every moment was
getting precious now; Hubbie was about due to come home, and if Hubbie
ever found out about this--well--life would be one grand sweet laugh to
him "from thence henceonward forever." Hastily wrapping her bathrobe
about her she went to the telephone and called up the paint store, and
in frantic tones asked the paint man what she could use to remove paint
from anything. The paint man asked what the paint was on. She said it
was on her fingers; and it was--some of it. The man told her to use
spirits of turpentine. And she did.

When the lady recovered consciousness--but what's the use; this was told
to me in confidence anyway, and I promised not to say a word about it.
So I won't.

* * * * *

We were calling on some German friends of ours in Minneapolis. Their
daughter's husband had just purchased an automobile and the old folks
were all fussed up over it. It was all they could think or talk about.
Finally Mother asked me which I considered the best make of car.

"Well," I said, "it is rather a peculiar thing, but our best American
cars all seem to have names beginning with the letter P. There is the
Pierce Arrow, the Peerless and the Packard--"

"Ja," said Mother eagerly, "and the Puick."

* * * * *

_Oh You Pinkie!_

"Miss Pink Bump, of Hickory Grove, is visiting at the home of George
Flemming."--_Milledgville (Ill.) Free Press._

* * * * *

The "Bobbie" Richardsons had just moved from Kansas City to Kalamazoo.
They had brought their old colored cook with them, but had had to secure
a "local talent" nurse-maid for the two little girls. On the afternoon
of their second day in their new home two ladies dropped in to pay their
respects to their new neighbors. Mrs. Bobbie hurriedly