hat kind of a company it was. The fact that they were playing Moose Jaw
is enough.

(And by the way, who knows how that town got its name? And a
bright little boy at the foot of the class held up his hand and
said--"I know!" And the teacher said, "All right, Willie,
you may tell us how Moose Jaw got its name." And Willie
said--"It is derived from an Indian expression which means,
'The-Place-Where-the-Man-Fixed-the-Wagon-With-a-Moose's-Jaw-Bone.'")

There was no regular theater there, so the company appeared in the fire
station. The engines were run out in the street and the show was given
there. There were big corridors on the second and third floors where the
firemen slept; there was a brass rod running down from the upper to the
lower floor for the firemen to slide down in case of a fire. The firemen
all slept up on the third floor this night, giving the second floor up
to the ladies for a dressing room.

It was at the end of the first act. The girls were changing for the
second act. The change was complete; tights and all. And an alarm was
rung in. B-r-r-r-r!! went the big gong downstairs. And swish! swish!
went the red-shirted firemen down the pole. The girls thought the
firehouse itself was afire and ran shrieking around the room begging to
be saved.

There were eighteen firemen upstairs that night and only two of them got
to the fire.

* * * * *

On the stage of the Orpheum Theater in Montreal hangs this sign:

+-------------------------------+
|WHERE THERE'S SMOKE THERE'S |
|FIRE. YOU DO THE SMOKING AND |
|I'LL DO THE FIREING. MANAGER. |
+-------------------------------+

* * * * *

I came near leaving the stage while playing in Montreal and going into
the portering business; said change being suggested by the following
advertisement in the _Montreal Star_:

"Wanted: A porter to drive bus and a dining room girl."

* * * * *

GOT ANY EXPERIENCED BABIES?

Wanted: Nursing; experienced babies. 10X Globe Office.--(_Toronto
Globe._)

PLAYING THE ENGLISH MUSIC HALLS

An American talking act going over to England to play has got a big job
on hand. The trouble is going to come from a totally unexpected source
too. It is because we do not speak the language. We say that we speak
English; but we don't; that is, mighty little of it. We speak mostly
plain, unadulterated, United States