rrol) had lost a ring in the Pullman car; after
quite a search the porter found it and brought it to her.

"My Goodness, Lady," he said, "but you certainly is mighty lucky; there
was some acters in this cyar las' night, an' ef one of _them_ had found
it--_good-by ring_."

BREAKS

Marshall P. Wilder had just come off the stage at Shea's in Buffalo. His
act had not gone at all to suit him, and he stood shaking his head and
wondering what was the matter. A big, fat acrobat who was closing the
show noticed him and said,

"What's the trouble, Kid?"

"I don't know," said Wilder, "but I can't seem to make them laugh."

"Augh, don't you worry about that; you ain't supposed to; you draw 'em
in; _we'll_ make 'em laugh."

* * * * *

A girl who was opening the show at Keith's Providence house stood in the
wings watching the Four Fords in their wonderful dancing act. At the end
they came off, panting and gasping from their violent exercise. The girl
watched them a moment pityingly, then said,

"Tough work, ain't it? I used to do all that stuff; but I found there
wasn't any money in it, and I cut it out."

* * * * *

[Illustration: "Give 'Em the Gravy."]

Robert Hilliard came off the stage at the Fifth Avenue Theater in New
York; the house was small and he had not gone very well. A big, rough,
knockabout comedian stood waiting his own turn to go on, and seeing
Hilliard looked worried, said to him,

"What's the matter, Bo?"

"They did not seem to care much for my offering," said Hilliard.

"Why sure they don't; you don't hand it to 'em right. Give 'em the
Gravy, Cull, give 'em the Gravy. _I do._"

* * * * *

William Hawtry had made his debut in Vaudeville and his friends at the
Lambs' Club were asking him how he liked it.

"Well," said Mr. Hawtry, "I must say I found the audience very
responsive; and the theater employes were very kind; but I met some of
the strangest people, among the Artists, that I ever saw."

Upon being asked wherein they were strange, he replied,

"Why, there is a fellow dressing with me who has the largest diamonds
and the dirtiest underwear I ever saw."

THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN NEW YORK AND CANANDAIGUA

We were touring in our auto from New Hampshire out to Buffalo. For
several days everything had gone well. And then, within ninety miles of
Buffalo, everything went wrong at once