ot; she's down in her dressing room asleep."

* * * * *

A crowd was sitting around the Vaudeville Comedy Club, and the
conversation had drifted around to a discussion of the old-time
Vaudeville and that of the present day.

"Well, I can tell you one thing," said James Dolan, of Dolan & Lenhar,
"there didn't use to be all these divorces and separations among the
old-timers. We didn't use to think that we had to have a new wife every
year or two; we stuck to the old ones; the ones that had helped us get
our starts. Look at Mr. and Mrs. Mark Murphy; Mr. and Mrs. Tom Nawn;
Ryan & Richfield; Cressy and Dayne; Dolan & Lenhar; Filson & Errol. I
tell you, boys, we _stuck_ in those days."

"Yes, but here; wait a minute," spoke up Horace Wright; "give us
youngsters a chance. I haven't been married but three years, but I am
sticking as fast as I can. Give me time, and I'll get into your
class--sometime."

I JOIN THE SUFFRAGETTES

I am now a suffragette. I don't exactly understand what it is all about
yet, but when I was up in New Hampshire a few weeks ago I met a very
enthusiastic lady who started in to convert me to "the cause." Finally,
after she had talked fourteen minutes without breathing once, I got a
chance to speak.

"But wait a minute," I said; "you are wasting time. As I understand this
thing, what you want is equal rights--for the sexes; is that correct?"

She said that was it exactly.

"All right then," I said, "I am with you, heart and soul; and, although
I haven't known it, I have been with you for a long time. I am willing
to fight shoulder to shoulder with you for this glorious cause, for if
there is anything that will get a man equal rights with a woman I am for
it."

"But," she said, "you _vote_, don't you?"

"_No_," I said, "_I can't! Martin Beck won't let me off to go home._"

"But," she continued, "you can sit on juries, and we can't."

"Well, good Lord," I exclaimed, "you don't want to sit on juries, do
you?"

"We want to do everything that men do."

"Well, I don't know," I replied; "it doesn't look good to me; women on a
jury."

"Why not?"

"Well, supposing there should be some big case on, and there were six
women and six men on the jury, and the jury should be locked up in the
jury room all night. You know darn well the verdict would be 'Guilty.'"

* * * * *

If I had an automobile that was in the last stages of