ditchnry ye'll see that it is 'A very powerful pizen of great use in
medicine.' I took calomel at his hands f'r manny years till he told me
that it was about the same thing they put into Rough on Rats. Thin I
stopped. If I've got to die, I want to die on th' premises.

"But, as he tells me, ye can't stop people from takin' dhrugs an' ye
might as well give thim something that will look important enough to be
inthrojuced to their important an' fatal cold in th' head. If ye don't,
they'll leap f'r the patent medicines. Mind ye, I haven't got annything
to say again patent medicines. If a man wud rather take thim thin dhrink
at a bar or go down to Hop Lung's f'r a long dhraw, he's within his
rights. Manny a man have I known who was a victim iv th' tortures iv a
cigareet cough who is now livin' comfortable an' happy as an opeem fiend
be takin' Doctor Wheezo's Consumption Cure. I knew a fellow wanst who
suffered fr'm spring fever to that extent that he niver did a day's
wurruk. To-day, afther dhrinkin' a bottle of Gazooma, he will go home
not on'y with th' strenth but th' desire to beat his wife. There is a
dhrug store on ivry corner an' they're goin' to dhrive out th' saloons
onless th' govermint will let us honest merchants put a little cocaine
or chloral in our cough-drops an' advertise that it will cure spinal
minigitis. An' it will, too, f'r awhile."

"Don't ye iver take dhrugs?" asked Mr. Hennessy.

"Niver whin I'm well," said Mr. Dooley. "Whin I'm sick, I'm so sick I'd
take annything."

A BROKEN FRIENDSHIP

"Hogan was in here just now," said Mr. Dooley, "an' he tells me he was
talkin' with th' Alderman an' they both agreed we're sure to have war
with th' Japs inside iv two years. They can see it comin'. Befure very
long thim little brown hands acrost th' sea will hand us a crack in th'
eye an' thin ye'll see throuble."

"What's it all about?" asked Mr. Hennessy.

"Divvle a thing can I make out iv it," said Mr. Dooley. "Hogan says
we've got to fight f'r th' supreemacy iv th' Passyfic. Much fightin' I'd
do f'r an ocean, but havin' taken th' Philippeens, which ar-re a blamed
nuisance, an th' Sandwich Islands, that're about as vallyable as a toy
balloon to a horse-shoer, we've got to grab a lot iv th' surroundin'
dampness to protect thim. That's wan reason why we're sure to have war.
Another reason is that th' Japs want to sind their little
forty-five-year-old childher to be iddycated in th' San Francisco pub