eive him much.
Th' number iv carryboo, deers, hippypotamuses, allygators, an' muskoxes
that come down th' Ar-rchey Road in th' coorse iv a year wudden't make
anny wan buy a bow an' arrow. It don't make near as much diff'rence to
us how they live as it does to thim how we live. They're goin' an' we're
comin', an' they ought to investygate an' find out th' reason why. I
suppose they don't have to go to school to larn how to bite something
that they dislike so much they want to eat it. If I had to bring up a
flock iv wild childher in Ar-rchey Road, I wudden't much care what they
larned about th' thrue habits iv th' elk or th' chambok, but I'd teach
thim what I cud iv th' habits, the lairs, an' th' bite iv th' polisman
on th' beat."

"Well," said Mr. Hennessy, "Tiddy Rosenfelt is right. A fellow that
writes books f'r childher ought to write th' truth."

"Th' little preciouses wudden't read thim," said Mr. Dooley. "Annyhow,
th' truth is a tough boss in lithrachoor. He don't pay aven boord wages,
an' if ye go to wurruk f'r him ye want to have a job on th' side."

THE JAPANESE SCARE

"Did ye go to see th' Japs whin they were here?" asked Mr. Dooley.

"I did not," said Mr. Hennessy.

"Nor I," said Mr. Dooley. "I was afraid to. They're a divvle iv a
sinsitive people thim Japs. Look cross-eyed at thim an' they're into
ye'er hair. I stayed away fr'm th' stock yards whin me frind Gin'ral
Armour was showin' Gin'ral Kroky some rale slaughter. I didn't dare to
go down there f'r fear I'd involve this fair land iv ours in war.
Supposin' th' haughty little fellow was to see me grinnin' at him. A
smile don't seem th' same thing to an Oryental that it is to us
Cowcassians. He might think I was insultin' him. 'Look at that fellow
makin' faces at me,' says he. 'He ain't makin' faces at ye,' says th'
Mayor. 'That's th' way he always looks.' 'Thin he must have his face
changed,' says Kroky. 'If he don't I'll appeal to th' Mickydoo an' he'll
divastate this boasted raypublic iv ye'ers,' he says, 'fr'm sea to sea,'
he says.

"Well, what's to be done about it? I can't change me face an' there's no
legal way iv removin' it. Th' Prisidint writes to th' Gov'nor, th'
Gov'nor requests th' Sheriff, th' Sheriff speaks to th' Mayor, th' Mayor
desires th' Chief iv Polis, th' Chief iv Polis ordhers th' polisman on
th' beat, an' th' polisman on th' beat commands me to take me alarmin'
visage out iv th' public view. Suppose I go down to see me