s thought that th'
next step wud be to take th' duty off cuttle fish bone, an' thus sthrike
a blow at th' very heart iv our protictive system. But Sinitor Tillman,
who is a gr-reat frind iv th' canary bur-rd an' is niver seen without
wan perched on his wrist, which he has taught to swear, put up a gallant
fight f'r his protegees, an' thousands iv canary bur-rds sang with a
lighter heart that night. Canary bur-rd seed will be very cheap this
year, an' anny American wurrukin' man needn't go to bed hungry. There
ought to be some way iv teachin' their wives how to cook it. It wud make
a nourishin' dish whin ye have whetted ye'er face on a piece iv cuttle
fish bone. I'm sure th' raison American wurrukin' men don't hop around
an' sing over their wurruk is because they are improperly fed.

"Yes, sir, canary bur-rd seed is free. What else? Lookin' down th' list
I see that divvy-divvy is free also. This was let in as a compliment to
Sinitor Aldhrich. It's his motto. Be th' inthraduction iv this harmless
dhrug into th' discussion he's been able to get a bill through that's
satisfacthry to ivrywan. But I am surprised to see that spunk is on th'
free list. Is our spunk industhree dead? Is there no pathrite to demand
that we be proticted against th' pauper spunk iv Europe? Maybe me frind
Willum Taft had it put on th' free list. I see in a pa-aper th' other
day that what was needed at th' White house was a little more spunk. But
does he have to import it fr'm abroad, I ask ye? Isn't there enough
American spunk?

"Well, sir, there are a few iv th' things that are on th' free list. But
there are others, mind ye. Here's some iv thim: Apatite, hog bristles,
wurruks iv art more thin twinty years old, kelp, marshmallows, life
boats, silk worm eggs, stilts, skeletons, turtles, an' leeches. Th' new
tariff bill puts these familyar commodyties within th' reach iv all. But
there's a bigger surprise waitin' for ye. What d'ye think ends th' free
list? I'll give ye twinty chances an' ye'll niver guess. Blankets? No.
Sugar? Wrong. Flannel shirts? Thry to be a little practical, Hinnissy.
Sinitor Aldhrich ain't no majician. Well, I might as well tell ye if
ye're sure ye'er heart is sthrong an' ye can stand a joyful surprise.
Ar-re ye ready? Well, thin, joss sticks an' opyum f'r smokin' ar-re on
th' free list! If they ain't I'm a Chinyman an' if they are I'll be wan
pretty soon.

"How often have I envied Hop Lung whin I see him burnin' his priceless