ge. Give me wan that's onfair an' prejudiced
an' that ye can slip somethin' to.

"No, sir, whin a man's broke an' does something wrong, th' on'y temple
iv justice he ought to get into is a freight car goin' West. Don't niver
thrust that there tough-lookin' lady with th' soord in her hand an' th'
handkerchief over her eyes. She may be blind, though I've seen thriles
where she raised th' bandage an' winked at th' aujence--she may be
blind, but 'tis th' fine sinse iv touch she has, an' if ye vinture into
her lodgins an' she goes through ye'er pockets an' finds on'y th'
pawnticket f'r th' watch ye stole off Hogan, she locks th' dure, takes
off th' handkerchief, an' goes at ye with th' soord.

"But suppose ye have a little iv th' useful with ye. Ye br-reak into
Hogan's house some night sufferin' fr'm an incontrollable impulse to
take his watch. Don't get mad, now. I'm on'y supposin' all this. Ye
wudden't take his watch. He has no watch. Well, he's sound asleep. Ye
give him a good crack on th' head so he won't be disturbed, an' hook th'
clock fr'm undher th' pillow. Th' next day ye're arristed. Th' pa-apers
comes out with th' news: 'Haughty sign iv wealthy fam'ly steals watch
fr'm awful Hogan. Full account iv dhreadful career iv th' victim.
Unwritten law to be invoked,' an' there's an article to show that anny
wan has a right to take Hogan's watch, that he was not a proper man to
have th' care iv a watch, annyhow, an' that ye done well to hook it.
This is always th' first step to'rd securin' cold justice f'r th' rich.
Ye're next ilicted a mimber iv nearly all th' ministers' assocyations,
an' finally, in ordher that th' law may be enfoorced without regard to
persons, an expert witness is hired f'r ye.

"Th' thrile begins. Ye walk in with a quick, nervous sthride an' set th'
watch be th' coort clock. 'Ar-re ye guilty or not guilty?' says th'
clerk. 'Guilty an' glad iv it,' says ye'er lawyer amid cheers an'
hisses. 'Have ye th' watch with ye?' says th' coort. 'I have,' says th'
pris'ner, smilin' in his peculiar way. 'Lave me look at it,' says th'
coort. 'I will not,' says the pris'ner, puttin' it back into his pocket.
'How ar-re ye goin' to defind this crook?' says th' Judge. 'We ar-re
goin' to prove that at th' time he committed this crime he was insane,'
says th' lawyer. 'I object,' says th' State's attorney. 'It is not legal
to inthrajooce evidence iv insanity till th' proper foundations is
established. Th' defince must pro