s
our female siminaries, where she remained till she gradyated as th' wife
iv some proud noble iv th' old Samuri push.

"Their art had ours thrimmed to a frazzle. Th' Jap artist O'Casey's
pitcher iv a lady leanin' on a river while a cow walked up her back,
was th' loveliest thing in th' wurruld. They were th' gr-reatest
athletes iver known. A Japanese child with rickets cud throw Johnson
over a church. They had a secret iv rasslin' be which a Jap rassler cud
blow on his opponent's eyeball an' break his ankle. They were th' finest
soordsmen that iver'd been seen. Whin a Japanese soordsman wint into a
combat he made such faces that his opponent dhropped his soord an' thin
he uttered a bloodcurdlin' cry, waved his soord four hundhred an' fifty
times over th' head iv th' victim or in th' case iv a Samuri eight
hundred an' ninety-six, give a whoop resimblin' our English wurrud
'tag,' an' clove him to th' feet. As with us, on'y th' lower classes
engaged in business. Th' old arrystocracy distained to thrade but
started banks an' got all th' money. Th' poor man had a splendid chance.
He cud devote his life to paintin' wan rib iv a fan, f'r which he got
two dollars, or he cud become a cab horse. An' even in th' wan branch iv
art that Westhren civvylization is supposed to excel in, they had us
beat miles. They were th' gr-reatest liars in th' wurruld an' formerly
friends iv th' Prisidint.

"All these here things I heerd fr'm Hogan an' see in th' pa-apers. I
invied this wondherful nation. I wisht, sometimes, th' Lord hadn't given
me two blue an' sometimes red eyes an' this alkiline nose, but a nose
like an ear an' a couple iv shoe-buttons f'r eyes. I wanted to be a Jap
an' belong to th' higher civvylization. Hogan had a Jap frind that used
to come in here with him. Hogan thought he was a Prince, but he was a
cook an' a student in a theelogical siminry. They'd talk be th' hour
about th' beauties iv what Hogan called th' Flowery Kingdom. 'Oh,
wondherful land,' says Hogan. 'Land iv chrysanthymums an' cherry
blossoms a' gasyhee girls,' says he. 'Japan is a beautiful land,' says
Prince Okoko. 'Nippon, (that's th' name it goes by at home,) Nippon, I
salute ye,' says Hogan. 'May victhry perch upon ye'er banners, an' may
ye hammer our old frinds an' allies fr'm Mookden to Moscow. Banzai,'
says he. An' they embraced. That night, in ordher to help on th' cause,
Hogan bought a blue flower-pot fr'm th' Prince's collection f'r eighteen
dolla