childher, an' he shud've been more careful; he shed
his coat, swiftly climbed th' tree an' boldly advanced on th' foe. His
inimy give th' low growl iv his hated thribe. How manny a time have I
heerd it in Englewood an' shuddered with fear. But th' dauntless Tusky
answered back with his battle song, th' long chirp iv th' wild wolf, his
wife accompanyin' him fr'm th' foot iv th' tree on a sheep bone. With
wan spring th' inthrepid wolf sprang at his inimy. She thried to sink
her venomous fangs into his wish-bone, but with incredulous swiftness,
he back-heeled an' upper-cut her, swung left to body an' right to point
iv jaw, an' with wan last grimace iv defiance th' gr-reat bulk iv th'
monsther fell tin thousand feet into th' roarin' torrent an' took th'
count. Tusky heerd th' soft love-note iv his mate. She was eatin' th'
whale. He hastily descinded. An' so peace come to th' jungle.'

"That sounds all right to me. I like to see th' best man or th' best
animile win. An' I want to see him win good. It wudden't help me story
to tell about Tusky goin' home with wan ear gone an' his eye blacked,
an' tellin' his wife that he'd just about managed to put wan over that
stopped another wolf. That's what usually happens up this way, an' it
ain't very good readin'. When I want to tell a story that'll inthrest me
frinds I give it to thim good. Whin I describe me fav'rite hero, Dock
Haggerty, I tell about him throwin' wan man out iv th' window an' usin'
another as a club to bate th' remainin' twelve into submission. But if
I had to swear to it, an' wasn't on good terms with th' Judge, I
wudden't say that I iver see Dock Haggerty lick more than wan man--at a
time. At a time, mind ye. He might take care iv a procession iv
Johnsons. But he'd be in throuble with a couple iv mimbers iv th'
Ethical Culture Society that came to him at th' same moment. 'If iver
more thin wan comes at wanst,' says th' Dock, 'I'm licked,' he says.

"But that ain't what I tell late at night, an' it ain't what I want to
read. Ye bet it ain't. If I wint over to a book store an' blew in me
good thirty-nine cints f'r a dollar-an'-a-half book, I'd want some kind
iv a hero that I never see around these corners. Th' best day I iver
knew Jawn L. Sullivan had a little something on me. I won't say it was
much, but now that we're both retired, I'll say that I'm glad I niver
challenged him. But I wudden't look at a book, an' I wudden't annyway,
but I wudden't let Hogan tell me