ladies dance in
front iv him far fr'm his madding throng iv wives, as th' pote says.

"Whin th' sicrety iv th' threasury wants to repoort to him, he starts
fr'm his office on his stomach an' wriggles into th' august prisince.
'What is it ye want, oh head iv lignum vity?' says th' Sultan. 'Bark f'r
th' ladies,' says he with a chuckle. 'Oh, descindant iv th' prophet,
whose name be blest! Oh, sun an' moon an' stars, whose frown is death
an' whose smile is heaven to th' faithful;--' 'Don't be so familyar with
me first name,' says th' Sultan, 'but go on with ye'er contimptible
supplication,' says he. 'Ye'er slave,' says th' sicrety iv th' threasury
fr'm th' flure, 'is desthroyed with grief to tell ye that afther
standin' th' intire empire on its head he's been onable to shake out
more thin two millyon piasthres f'r this week's expinses iv ye'er
awfulness,' says he. 'What!' says th' sultan, 'two millyon
piasthres--bar'ly enough to buy bur-rd seed f'r me bulbuls,' says he.
'How dare ye come into me august prisince with such an insult. Lave it
on th' flure f'r th' boy that sweeps up, oh, son iv a tailor,' he says,
an' he gives a nod an' fr'm behind a curtain comes Jawn Johnson with
little on him, an' th' next thing ye hear iv th' faithless minister is a
squeak an' a splash. He rules be love alone, thinks I, an' feelin' that
life without love is useless, annybody that don't love him can go an'
get measured f'r a name plate an' be sure he'll need it befure th' price
is lower. His people worship him an' why shudden't they. He allows thim
to keep all th' dogs they want, he proticts thim fr'm dissolute habits
be takin' their loose money fr'm thim, an' ivry year he gives thim an
Armeenyan massacree which is a great help to th' cigareet business in
this counthry.

"Happy Abdul, thinks I. If I cud be a haythen an' was a marryin' man,
'tis ye'er soft spot I'd like to land in f'r me declinin' days. So whin
I r-read in th' pa-apers that there was a rivolution startin' to fire
Abdul Hamid, I says to mesilf: 'A fine chance ye've got, me lads. That
old boy will be holdin' down his job whin there's a resignation fr'm th'
supreeme coort bench at Wash'nton,' says I. 'Th' first thing ye young
Turks know ye'll-be gettin' a prisent fr'm ye'er sov'reign iv a
necktie,' says I, 'an' it won't fit ye,' says I.

"Well, sir, I was wrong. I knew I was wrong th' minyit I see a pitcher
iv Abdul Hamid in th' pa-aper--a snap-shot, mind ye! Think of that,
w