cint citizen in him afther all. What
opporchunity has he had, tell me? What can ye expict fr'm a man that
niver was taught annything betther thin that he cud do annything he
wanted to do without bein' called down f'r it? It doesn't make anny
diff'rence whether 'tis a polisman or th' Rajah iv Beloochistan, be
gorry, put a club in his hand an' tell him that he can use it an' he'll
begin usin' it tomorrah. He'll break wan head tomorrah, two th' next
day, an' befure he's been on th' foorce or th' throne a year it'll be a
whack on th' chimbly befure he says 'How ar-re ye.' By an' by he'll get
so manny people afraid iv him that he'll be in danger and that'll make
him afraid iv thim, an' thin he'll be more dangerous thin iver, d'ye
mind? Th' on'y man ye need to be afraid iv is th' man that's afraid iv
ye. An' that's what makes a tyrant. He's scared to death. If I'd thought
about it whin I r-read iv me frind murdherin' people I'd've known they'd
find him thremblin' in a room an' shootin' at th' hired girl whin she
come in with his porridge. So I'm glad afther all that I didn't put in
me application. I want no man to fear me. I'd hate to be more of a
coward thin I am."

"What ar-re these Turkish athrocities I've been r-readin' about?" said
Mr. Hennessy.

"I don't know," said Mr. Dooley. "I don't keep thim. Have a cigar?"

VACATIONS

"Well, sir," said Mr. Dooley, "I raaly don't know whether I'm glad or
sorry to get back. It seems a little sthrange to be here again in the
turmoil iv life in a large city, but thin, again, 'tis pleasant to see
th' familyar faces wanst more. Has annything happened since I wint away
on me vacation? Did ye miss me? Am I much sunburnt?"

"What ar-re ye talkin' about?" asked Mr. Hennessy. "I see ye on'y last
night."

"Ye did not," said Mr. Dooley. "Ye may have seen me undherstudy, but ye
didn't see me. Where was I? It depinds on what time iv night it was. If
it was eight o'clock, I was croosin' in Pierpont Morgan's yacht off th'
coast iv Labrador. We were both iv us settin' up on th' front stoop iv
th' boat. I had just won thirty millyon dollars fr'm him throwin' dice,
an' he remarked to me 'I bet it's hot in Chicago.' But about eight
thirty, th' wind, which had been blowin' acrost th' brick-yard, changed
into th' northeast an' I moved back to Newpoort."

"Ar-re ye crazy fr'm th' heat?" Mr. Hennessy asked.

"Divvle th' bit," said Mr. Dooley, "but long ago I made up me mind not
to be th'